Words for Life

Today I will remind myself that mistakes are seldom fatal

2011-12-21T18:23:00.000+11:00

Today I will remind myself that mistakes are seldom fatal. Whenever I make a mistake several possible emotional responses can kick in: At the basic level my mind wants to lay the blame for the mistake on someone else. However laying blame is not the optimal learning strategy. The next most likely response is an attempt to justify the mistake, which also doesn’t help the situation. I may also experience shame along with a tendency to ‘mentally’ beat myself up in response to my mistake.

Is there then a better way to respond to mistakes? A more measured response that could allow us to explore and optimise our learning and to adopt new behaviours? I believe there are several significant steps we can take: The most important is to acknowledge the mistake and take full responsibility for it. We should then reflect on how we caused the mistake. Then explore and extract the relevant learning. Finally we can codify the learning in such a way that it causes permanent positive change. This touches on the important issue of second order learning.

Today I will focus on becoming even better at those things I now do well

2011-12-12T18:36:00.000+11:00

Today I will focus on becoming even better at those things I now do well. I will accept that I cannot do everything exceptionally well, however I can do some things exceptionally well. And I will focus on improving my performance in those significant things. Almost nothing else I can do will add more power to my life than concentrating all my energy on one target. I will embrace this exhortation by Wilferd A. Peterson: “Success is assured when you focus the full power of all you are on what you have a burning desire to achieve.”

2011-11-23T17:51:00.001+11:00

Today I will think about failure and the part it plays in success. Successful people consider failure to be a learning experience, not a losing experience. What would happen if we all adopted that mindset? What possibilities could open up if you and I considered failure as simply a course correction, perhaps as a temporary inconvenience? Just a detour and not a dead end? But most importantly as an opportunity to develop our mental muscles and bolster our self-belief.

Successful businessman and author Orin Woodward says it well: “Failure is not final and can simply be a stepping stone to success.” The events of my life support that statement.

Today I will examine the behaviours to which I link pain and pleasure

2011-11-21T17:37:00.001+11:00

Today I will examine the behaviours to which I link both pain and pleasure. In particular how it impacts on my diet and fitness. The principle of avoiding pain and seeking pleasure is one that rules every area of our lives. The behaviours we associate in our mind with pain we tend to avoid at all cost and those we associate with pleasure we seek out and want to experience more of; and perhaps as much as possible.

So the challenge for me is to change the emotions that I have attached to particular foods and certain exercises at the gym. When I identify the emotions that I currently link to those behaviours I can then re-frame them to link and then anchor different emotions. Emotions that will in turn cause me to make better choices and create change.

I will follow the advice of William Ury who states that: “To change the game you have to change the frame, in other words the way you see and experience things.”

Today I will affirm that change can occur instantly

2011-04-27T18:12:00.000+10:00

Today I will affirm that change can occur instantly. Once I believed that making personal change was incremental. Today I believe it occurs whenever we decide with emotional intensity that something must change. It then only takes a moment to change our life forever. Profound change occurs whenever we create a significant paradigm shift. This internal shift could be prompted by: an insight, an idea, or a conversation, one that creates a shift in thinking that causes us to say:’This must and will change!’

Any change in our life simply reflects some breakthrough in our beliefs; or our perception. It’s always an internal shift that leads to some different external action. This shift happens as a result of some new distinction that causes us to break the bonds of our conditioning and self-limitation. As a result we break free and embrace more positive beliefs that empower us and lead to new personal behaviours. To make change three things must happen. First we must change our belief, then decide on new behaviours, and finally resolve any inner conflicts between the old and new beliefs.

Today I will marvel at the magic of the human mind.

2011-04-22T16:16:00.001+10:00

Today I will marvel at the magic of the human mind. One of the books I’m currently reading is titled: Flipnosis - the art of split second persuasion by Kevin Dutton. It’s a fascinating read about how the mind is wired and how to circumvent that wiring to achieve a desired outcome. It’s either brilliant or bloody dangerous. I’m not sure which at this point. However the author cites an experiment conducted by Cambridge University about the effect of our mind-set or frame of mind on how we read and I thought it was worth sharing.

“In trems of the way in wchih we prcoess lagnguage, for istnance, scuh a sttae of atuo-piolt revleas the paomnnehal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdring to rscearch it deosn’t mttaer in waht order the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt thnig is that the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. This is bcesuae the hmuan mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrid as a wlohe. Tihs is epsceially the csae with retviaely cmomon, so-claled ‘fuctnion’ words like ‘of - wehih maens that one is lses lkiley, in scuh exmalpes, to prcoess the idnvidaiul cmpnonoets. Amzanig, huh?"

Today I will concentrate on the emotions that accompany success

2011-04-21T09:17:00.000+10:00

Today I will concentrate on the emotions that accompany success. In the past I set goals in all areas of life with great detail and precision. Not now! Now I determine the end result I want and once a day I visualize for five minutes, vividly seeing what I will see, hearing what I will hear, and most importantly feeling with intensity what I will feel when that goal is achieved. It’s not my business how the universe will engineer the correct people, events and circumstances to support me, or how the serendipitous effects and precessional outcomes will appear. My job is to hold the end result in my mind and to then move forward. Doing what I know to do and leaving all the details to the universe. It finally clicked into place for me that my ‘rules’ about what would need to happen on the journey were getting in the way of my greater good. The outcome we all want and deserve in life is abundant joy and happiness. Happiness is an emotion, so today I will concentrate on the emotion, not on the detail.

Today I will remember that great opportunities are often hidden within difficulties

2011-04-13T22:51:00.000+10:00

Today I will remember that great opportunities are often hidden within difficult circumstances. An Italian stone merchant came into possession of a particularly luminous piece of marble and called several eminent sculptors to see it. One by one they looked at the stone but all declared it too difficult to work. Finally Michelangelo examined the stone and visualized the possibilities hidden within. The result was ‘David’ one of the great sculptures of the world. If you are facing difficulties perhaps examining your situation more deeply may reveal possibilities not apparent at the moment.

Today I will serve another that I may grow

2011-04-05T18:16:00.000+10:00

Today I will serve another so that I may grow. I will reach out and seek an opportunity to provide service to someone who either does not know what I know or cannot do what I can do. In so doing I will both provide and receive value. I am informed by the words of Ralph Waldo Emerson who said: “It is one of the most beautiful compensations of this life that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself.”

The magic in making and keeping committments

2011-03-30T11:28:00.000+11:00

Our relationships with other people are vital to effectively participating in the world. We live in a world of engagement and the language we choose to use creates a ‘precessional’ effect that ripples outwards. Somewhat similar to the reaction that occurs when we drop a pebble in a pond. We use language not only to describe our world but to create it. And effective communication, which includes an emphasis on keeping our commitments, is central to personal and professional success. Keeping commitments is a crucial factor for every family, friendship or partnership; for every team, association, or organisation. In fact wherever people engage in a continuing cycle of conversations that lead to commitments.

The most potent and productive conversations we have are those where we make an offer to do something for another, or when we request a commitment from another. And when that offer or request is accepted this is said to be a promise. This simple act of making and managing promises creates a mutual committment by one person to another to take a specific future action.

And the responsibility that accompanies a promise is to do what we said we would do, to the standard to which we committed, and within the time-frame to which we commit. We must deliver what we promise, to the standard we promise, and do it when we promise. The effectiveness of the process known as the ‘promise cycle’ relies on the clarity of the conditions expressed. In other words, how well formed and well expressed the commitment is, and how well it is understood by all those concerned.

The promise cycle can be described this way. When you offer to do something for another as an: Offer + Acceptance = Promise, or when another makes a request of you as a: Request + Acceptance = Promise. So commitments can occur in one of two ways, either the acceptance of a request or the acceptance of an offer. In life we bind ourselves to each other through promises and we begin to drift when we don’t deliver on them. Therefore the making and keeping of commitments is an important element in communication. It determines predictability, certainty and continuity in all our various relationships.

Imagine the immediate impact that would occur in every aspect of life if all members of a family, a team, or an association kept their commitments. In an organizational setting recognizing and utilizing the commitment cycle empowers entrepreneurs and business leaders to create a committed, collaborative, high-performance culture because it builds trust. Trust is central to our identity and when it’s present efficiency, effectiveness and productivity increase. Such a simple process; such a profound impact.

Now identify one instance in both your personal and professional life where you made a promise and didn’t deliver on that promise. Then reflect on the precessional effects that resulted. What were the implications and outcomes of not delivering on your promise? What could you have done, or would you now do, differently?

Then identify one instance in both your personal life and professional life where you made a promise and delivered on that promise, and reflect on the precessional effect. What was the outcome of keeping that commitment? And importantly what would happen if you were to keep all your commitments?

Today I will establish rapport with the people I meet

2011-03-23T18:47:00.001+11:00

Today I will establish rapport with the people I meet. Rapport is defined as the creation of trust, harmony and cooperation in any relationship. And when people are in rapport they are more likely to reach mutual understanding, or agreement with one another. Gaining rapport is a process that leads to a state and when that state is achieved many possibilities arise. Whenever I mirror and match the voice, tone and tempo, also the breathing, rhythm and movement and the posture of another I am more likely to establish rapport and that connection will assist us to communicate at a deeper level. Whenever I establish genuine rapport with another the stage is set for great things to occur.

Leading others to create a better world

2011-03-10T23:40:00.001+11:00

Leadership, the need for it, the lack of it, and exactly what it is and is not, is one of the subjects most spoken and written about globally. It’s widely recognized that today our fast moving vibrant societies cannot work effectively and efficiently without great inspirational leaders. Yet in all spheres of human endeavour it’s still a rare commodity. Whether it’s the arts, business, politics, religion, science or sports we need effective leaders at all levels to provide direction, create inspiration, and encourage people to give of their best.

A true leader guides others. They guide the way to an ‘imagined’ future and to be effective they must have well defined values with the principle ones being honesty and integrity. A leader is not someone with a particular skill-set but rather someone with a particular mind-set, specifically a set of values that guide them every day in every situation, because leadership is about valuing and validating others and influencing them to embrace and create personal change. It is also the art of getting things done through others.

A true leader engages others. One of the most important attributes is the ability to paint a compelling picture of a proposed future, to create through the artful use of language a world to which others want to belong. Leadership isn’t about personal fame or glory; it’s about adding value, enriching and serving others while being true to a personal and organizational vision. Leaders communicate best with language that speaks to the needs, emotions, hopes, and dreams of others, and therefore one of the important aspects of effective leadership is the congruence between the messenger and the message.

A true leader energizes others. They serve the best interests of others and in doing so they are not always popular. But because true leaders are motivated by concern rather than a desire for personal glory, they are willing to pay the price. Leadership is all about creating possibilities for others within a supportive and affirming environment where people feel they are valued and empowered to achieve.

A true leader learns from others. Leaders must be committed to continual personal and professional growth. With a desire to learn and develop ever sharper insights into circumstances and processes that will allow them to achieve the goals they seek. Most people learn by accident, someone says; take this course, read this article, and therefore learning becomes a random event. In life we are either striving or we are settling, a true leader decides to only learn on purpose. They discern what is missing in them and for others and actively seek out the best information.

A true leader serves others. They practice servant leadership; empowering others to reach their full potential. I believe true leaders are developed not born and I wonder if that’s how you see things too. Finally a great leader is one who has thought long and hard about who they are and what they believe. Therefore allowing them to be their authentic self, and in the process help others find their best self.

Three questions you may wish to reflect on: What great dream would you like to lead others to accomplish? To achieve that dream who must you become? What can you do now to become that person?

Today I will continue to exercise my mind.

2011-03-08T11:35:00.000+11:00

Today I will continue to exercise my mind. For many years now I have read extensively in my areas of interest in the pursuit of personal and professional growth. Driven to do so by an understanding that I must commit to learning and growing every day; because standing still in this life is not an option. My brain and mind like any other muscle that I don’t exercise will eventually atrophy. Recently in my reading I came across this quote by Norman Doidge: “Research has shown that enriched environments and stimulation lead the brain to grow in every conceivable way. Post-mortem examinations have shown that education increases the number of branches among neurons. An increased number of branches drive the neurons further apart, leading to an increase in the volume and thickness of the brain. The idea that the brain is like a muscle that grows with exercise is not just a metaphor.”

Today I will affirm that personal mastery is determined by my mindset.

2011-03-02T20:10:00.000+11:00

Today I will affirm that personal mastery is determined by my mindset. The pursuit and attainment of a high level of mastery in my personal skill-set and life in general is determined by my current self-image and self-belief. Not that mastery is an end in itself, it’s simply the moving end point of the process of ongoing improvement, and personal achievement. Professor Carol Dweck who has dedicated forty years to researching human performance says in her signature insight: “What people believe shapes what people achieve. Our beliefs about ourselves and the nature of our abilities determine how we interpret our experiences and can set the boundaries of our achievement."

Today I will hold fast to the words of Edward Everett Hale.

2011-02-25T17:54:00.000+11:00

Today I will hold fast to the words of Edward Everett Hale: “I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; and because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do something I can do.” A key to accomplishment is to fervently believe that what I can contribute will make a difference. This belief influences how I ‘show up’ to others in the world. And when I ‘show up’ as one who contributes value then things open up and serendipitous events occur that wouldn’t occur if I didn’t hold that belief. Whenever I reinforce my belief in myself and my ability to contribute, good things then happen.

Focus on solutions not on problems

2011-02-24T16:13:00.000+11:00

Is your glass half full or is it half empty? Are your daily thoughts predominantly positive or negative? Every thought we have is a real thing and every thought affects us. When we repeatedly dwell on a particular thought it creates a ‘groove’ in our mind. What shows up and what grows up in our life is consistent with, and pre-determined by our thoughts. Not just a single or random thought but how often we have a particular thought and how intensely we feel the emotions the thought invokes.

Everything in the physical world has its beginning in thought. We create our experiences in life by our thinking. In fact, we have created everything that’s evident in our life right now. The life we are currently living is simply a reflection of our past thinking. The moment we stop to reflect and become conscious of our repetitive thoughts we realise that they are in fact congruent with life as we experience it.

Our mind has two main functions and it comprises two parts; a thinker and a prover. The thinker is extremely flexible, and can think any number of things. The thinker can think the earth is flat; or think the earth is round. It can think all people are poison; or all people are pure. The thinker can think that women are intuitive and men are rational; it can think the opposite. It can think that there isn’t enough wealth to go round; it can think that we live in a world of unlimited abundance. The thinker can think just about anything.

The prover is much more predictable: what the thinker thinks, the prover proves. Whatever the thinker is thinking, the prover will sort through past experience for evidence to support that idea. If a person considers themselves to be stupid, the prover will find evidence to show that it’s true. If a person thinks that they are brilliant, the prover will show how that is true. While it’s easy to see that this is the case for everyone else, it’s not always so easy to recognise that it’s also so for us. While it’s easy to identify the ways in which someone else is limiting themselves, it’s more difficult to identify that in ourselves.

Since our mind can only hold one thought at a time so we should make our thoughts positive and constructive. The world is a living, dynamic energy system and every thought we have impresses itself upon this system and its effect is felt like ripples at the edges of a pond. The pattern of thinking that has got us to where we are will not necessarily get us where we want to go. Therefore often new and different thinking is required in order to experience a new level of personal and professional success.

People who achieve a higher level of success in life are those who habitually think differently from others. They have conditioned their minds to focus on possibilities instead of obstacles. Successful people think positively and then make wise choices, and when we examine successful people we see that their success is a matter of correct choices made at critical times.

Here’s an exercise you may like to do? For the next ten days, decide that you will become more aware of your thinking. Refuse to dwell on any negative or unresourceful thoughts that may float into your mind. Refuse to entertain any disempowering questions. Focus for ten days only on solutions, not problems. The instant you become aware of a negative thought quickly replace it with a positive thought, and immediately focus on a possible solution. If you do so, within ten days you will be well on your way to establishing a new and empowering habit that will deliver dividends for the rest of your life.

Today I will write each of my personal, positive, present tense affirmations three times.

2011-02-17T20:41:00.000+11:00

Today I will write each of my personal, positive, present tense affirmations three times. Understanding that repetitive writing of goals and affirmations creates a groove in to my non-conscious mind, I will take this advice from Dr. John G. Kappas: “One way to affirm is to write your affirmation daily. Handwriting, not printing is known as a subconscious idiomatic response. Not only are you writing the information, you are also viewing it on paper and changing your inner programming. The information you write goes directly to the brain via the central nervous system. Handwriting bypasses the conscious mind, implanting the ideas you want to use to change your life directly into the subconscious mind.”

Today I will refuse to dwell on the negative aspects and events of my past.

2011-02-16T18:42:00.000+11:00

Today I will refuse to dwell on the negative aspects and events of my past. Instead I will dwell on my many positive accomplishments. When I examine my strengths and achievements they significantly outweigh my weaknesses and failures. Along with Zig Ziglar: “I believe man was designed for accomplishment, engineered for success, and endowed with the seeds of greatness.” This encourages me to dwell on my achievements and not my failures. I invite you to join me and celebrate your past successes.

Today I will create new and powerful distinctions.

2011-02-03T19:09:00.000+11:00

Today I will create new and powerful distinctions. To facilitate this I will apply the blow-torch of critical thinking to my knowledge. Knowledge is useful and necessary however well crafted distinctions are capable of creating profound personal change.

I grew up in a home that didn’t prize education or knowledge, an environment where my parents did not know that they did not know. That experience fuelled my desire to know; and as a result I have read over a thousand books in my areas of interest: change management, leadership, human performance, psychology, neuroscience and ontology, and participated in fifty or more personal and professional development courses and programs.

It seemed to me over the years that I was seeking to fill an empty bucket, one with a sizable hole. It’s only in the past decade that I have turned my mind toward crafting distinctions and formulas based on that knowledge. Knowledge alone is not the key. The key for me is in creating personal distinctions that will provide a foundation and springboard for living a happy and productive life.

Why do we observe things the way we do?.

2011-02-02T20:30:00.000+11:00

Here’s the question I’ve been asking myself: “How can I become a more potent and powerful observer and thereby create the capacity to take more effective action?” Why would I ask that? Because how we observe ourselves, others, and the circumstances and events in our world determines what life experiences are, or aren’t possible for us.

It’s not the events of life that count but the way we observe them and the meaning we attach to them; its how we interpret them that shapes who we are and will become. Changing the way we observe and perceive things provides insight. And insight is more than knowledge concerning a particular situation, because it also involves an escape from something that has held us captive, and that creates the freedom for us to grow and become more.

The way we observe our world both informs and instructs the quality of our personal and professional life. It also impacts the accomplishment, contentment, enjoyment, fulfilment, happiness, and satisfaction we experience. We all have a different world view and that view is based upon the mental ‘maps’ that we have formed. It’s these internal maps that determine how we observe, interpret and react to the world around us. Our personal model of the world gives meaning to our behaviour’s much more than does so called ‘objective’ reality. It’s not external reality that constrains us, or even empowers us. Rather it’s our map of that reality. From this perspective, we make the best choices available to us given the possibilities that we perceive to be accessible within our model of the world

We can only change what we notice and that’s where critical thinking becomes important. We don’t know how things are, we only see things according to how we are, in other words how we interpret them. And when we observe things, and people, we often do not see them. Instead we see our concept of them and our feelings about them and the meanings they hold for us.

Consider the thought that when an idea becomes a belief, that belief leads us to close our mind to other ideas. The more we believe in something, the more closed, rigid and unquestioning we become. In itself this is neither good nor bad, however it can be healthy or unhealthy depending on the content of what we believe. The problem occurs when we believe, in our belief. When we do that openness, learning, and development end and we risk becoming stuck

When we become a different observer of ourselves and our world, life takes on a different meaning. How we observe determines what we perceive as problems, what we perceive as possibilities, and what we see as solutions. Self-reflection, critical thinking, noticing what we notice, observing what we observe, is the catalyst for deep learning and for creating personal change. And when we shift our beliefs then we open up new possibilities, new ways of behaviour, and more effective ways of living in the world. I invite you to join me in asking: “How can I become a more potent and powerful observer and thereby create the capacity to take more effective action?”

This quotation by R. D. Laing is relevant: “The range of what we think and do is limited by what we fail to notice. And because we fail to notice that we fail to notice there is little we can do to change until we notice how failing to notice shapes our thoughts and deeds.”

Today I will take total responsibility for my life

2011-01-28T16:57:00.000+11:00

Today I will take total responsibility for my life. For my actions and reactions, for my mistakes and triumphs, for my good and not so good behaviours. I am grateful to the universe for the gift of personal responsibility. It ranks up there with breathing as one of the great gifts. Without it I may live my life like a balloon released into the sky, drifting with the breezes and currents, being pushed every which way by forces outside its control. It’s interesting to observe the play between freedom and responsibility in the various choices I have made in this life. And how whenever I have chosen responsibility it’s opened up new possibilities. I agree with these wise words from Mike Dooley: “We are all entirely responsible for ourselves, our manifestations, and our own happiness. It’s the ultimate responsibility, a responsibility that was bestowed simultaneously with our receiving the absolute power to have, do, and be whatever our heart desires.”

How to develop deep rapport with others

2011-01-26T21:43:00.000+11:00

The therapist Milton Ericson once stated: “In the presence of rapport anything is possible.” Rapport is present whenever we establishment trust, harmony and cooperation in a relationship. Learning how to create rapport and develop a deep connection with others will help us communicate more effectively. It’s true that when people are like each other, they will more readily like each other. When people are not like each other, they will not so readily like each other. When we like someone we are much more willing to assist them, and help them get whatever they want. So how can we do that?

Researchers say when measuring the effectiveness of communication that seven percent is due to the words we use; thirty eight percent to our tone of voice, and fifty five percent to our physiology. Also much of our communication is outside our conscious awareness. An opportunity therefore exists to create more effective non-verbal communication, and that's what establishing rapport is all about.

So what’s it take to develop rapport? It’s simple to establish and we should create it prior to putting our point of view. For people to like and open up to you, you’ll first need to demonstrate genuine interest in them, rather than trying to get them interested in you. When a person feels that you want to know and understand them at a deep level they will more readily share their true feelings. So fully focus with a sincere sense of curiosity about; how they feel, how they think, how they see the world. Their hopes, dreams, and fears, their aspirations and the obstacles they face.

Because influence works at a non-conscious level we must first get the attention of the other person’s non-conscious mind. This means mirroring their posture, and matching the pitch, pace, and tonality of their voice, and any other behaviour we observe. Cultivate a slow head nod. When you’re in rapport with someone and you nod your head, the other person is likely to do the same and this sends an unconscious ‘yes’ signal to their nervous system.

Rapport equals trust so when you achieve rapport with another they are more likely to respond to your suggestions. Be sure you match them exactly. Start with a slight delay in matching or mirroring, then within a minute or two begin to match them almost simultaneously. Avoid subtly mirroring; as this won’t create a match. Mirror exactly what they do, and do it at the same time as they do.

To create rapport sit upright and relaxed with your legs uncrossed and feet pointed towards the other person. Your hands can be flat on your thighs or loosely held with fingertips together if you aren’t using them to gesture. You should also maintain strong but not intense eye contact. Slightly lower your voice tone, touch their arm, raise your eyebrows, move your head to one side, and slow your speaking. With practice, you will be amazed at how quickly and easily you are able to do this.

According to Jamie Smart, an expert on this subject: “Rapport has been described as what happens when we get the attention of someone’s non-conscious mind, and meet them at their ‘map of the world’ its more commonly understood as the sense of ease and connection that develops when you are interacting with someone you trust and feel comfortable with. Being able to achieve rapport with other people isn't just a key for successful influence; it's also one of the most enjoyable and relaxing skills you can learn because people like to be around people who are in rapport with them.”

Today I will work on the virtuous circle that ensures success

2011-01-25T15:45:00.000+11:00

Today I will work on the virtuous circle that ensures success. And what is that? Our beliefs, thoughts, words and actions form a virtuous circle for achieving success. When they are aligned and synchronized they harmoniously work together to allow us to achieve our dreams. We should take care and be aware because each individual element has its role in creating the life we wish for. So today I will examine my beliefs. I will identify and replace any self-limiting beliefs with those that better serve me. I will be more aware of my thoughts, reinforcing the positive ones and clearing the limiting ones. I will watch my words to ensure that when they inevitably manifest in form that it’s one that matches what I wish for and not something else. And finally I will take actions appropriate to move me towards my dreams.

Today I will continue to reflect on the power of beliefs

2011-01-21T14:05:00.000+11:00

Today I will continue to reflect on the power of beliefs. I read once that we are simply though machines. And while I realize there’s more to human beings than that, we are the only species on the planet capable of rational thought. We both allow and absorb beliefs from our cultural environment and we also create our own unique beliefs by the thoughts we dwell on. The more we think about something the more likely it is to solidify into a belief. That’s not to say that all thoughts inevitably become beliefs, although they can and they frequently do. The repetition of any thought can eventually focus the mind more and more so that the thought seems more acceptable, real, and believable. And if repetition is the mother of learning, repeatedly dwelling on any thought is the mother of beliefs. Our thoughts only exist as representations in consciousness, and our beliefs only exist as validation of those representations. My mind doesn’t have an internal quality control mechanism for weeding out stupid, ridiculous, or harmful beliefs; therefore I need to take care with what I allow myself to think because I may be building a belief.

How our beliefs allow or deny our dreams

2011-01-20T19:22:00.000+11:00

Our beliefs can be said to act as traffic lights for manifesting our dreams. When the lights are green; in other words when our beliefs and dreams are a match we can move forward to our destination. When the lights are red; that is when our beliefs and dreams are a mismatch we are unable to move forward. How does this work? And more importantly how can we change the lights from red to green so we can move more quickly to claim our dreams? I think its about aligning our thoughts with our beliefs, energizing them with emotion and then taking the correct action.

1. Beliefs. We speak here about the fundamental and important building blocks of life. Some of our beliefs are apparent to us; however many, like the foundations of a building, are hidden from immediate view, and we have to dig deep within to uncover them. Beliefs operate as self-validating constructs; this explains their immense power and also their potential danger. Once installed, a belief functions as part of our perception system and therefore filters out everything that does not fit with it. In this way, beliefs are blind.

2. Thoughts. It’s not possible to direct our thoughts and centre them for any period of time on any dream that doesn’t match our beliefs. Try it, and you will find as I have that your thoughts quickly drift. As a result it’s not possible to create the clarity required to charge your thoughts with emotion. It’s our emotions that move us, not just our thoughts. However that said all thoughts are dynamic and seek to transform to their physical equivalent, so we must be watchful about aligning our thoughts with our beliefs.

3. Feelings. Whenever we soak our thoughts in emotion we supercharge them. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the role of our emotions and also the deeper moods in which we all live that inform what’s possible for us in life. And in particular about how they act as prompts and precursors for achievement. For me emotions are the juice that energizes my dreams. My daughter says that feelings clear ‘fuddles’ I have no idea exactly what that means except that she wanted me to include it in this article.

4. Action. As I observe and examine my own life it is apparent to me that whenever my beliefs, thoughts and emotions are aligned I then take appropriate action to manifest my dreams and desires. And when I take action, when I am in motion precessional effects, think of them as serendipitous events, occur that enhance and further open my life to receive my good. The universe responds to action.

5. Results. When our beliefs, thoughts and feelings are aligned we can move forward and results occur quickly. When they aren’t aligned we become stuck and we can then simply spin our wheels. The way to create any outcome in life is to dwell on the vision of our deepest desires. And at the same time take action. By doing this, tension is created between our current state and our desired state. This tension is the primary force behind the manifestation of any outcome or result. It's as natural and powerful as the force of gravity. And in all this please remember that the most splendid achievement of all in life is the constant striving to surpass yourself and be worthy of your own approval. May all your lights be green!

Today I will remind myself that the universe is designed to deliver abundance.

2011-01-18T09:13:00.000+11:00

Today I will remind myself that the universe is designed to deliver abundance. Therefore abundance in all things; including health, wealth, relationships and happiness is my natural state. Where abundance is not manifest it’s because I have allowed or accepted self limiting beliefs from the culture in which I live or from poor and undisciplined thinking. Today I will continue to identify and replace beliefs that do not serve me with beliefs that better serve me. My beliefs in life are a construct, not iron clad truths, so inappropriate beliefs can be deconstructed and replaced by beliefs that deliver abundance. I like these words from Randy Gage: “Abundance is your birthright and your natural condition. Accept your abundance!”

Today I will dwell on this distinction.

2011-01-14T16:35:00.000+11:00

Today I will dwell on this distinction. I and the universe are one; therefore I must receive the essence of what I think what I feel, what I do. It must - and can only, return to me in kind. Said another way this is the great law of life: What I plant I will harvest. It is the foundation stone on which all our lives are built. And to see the life that we have built is to see the effect of that law in action. For me there is more to do, so today and all this year I will dwell on this distinction. Since I and the universe are one; I cannot, not receive the essence of what I think, feel, and do..

How well do your beliefs serve you?

2011-01-12T21:25:00.000+11:00

According to the dictionary a belief is: any guiding principle, dictum, faith or passion that provides meaning and direction in life. And I’m wondering how it is we come to hold the beliefs we do. Our beliefs are not innocent things and yet we seldom examine them.

Our beliefs primarily act as filters; they are our perceptions about ourselves and our place in the world. They direct our nervous system, our emotions, and our brain. When we hold a belief as if it is ‘true’ it’s just like we deliver a direction to our brain about how to represent what it is we are observing, or what it is that’s occurring in life. However, just because we hold a particular belief doesn’t mean that it’s the truth. A belief isn't necessarily reality; however our beliefs represent reality. Our beliefs are often about things that we cannot know in reality.

Just how do we adopt or form our beliefs? Every idea we have doesn’t inevitably grow into a belief, although they can and they frequently do. The repetition of any thought or idea can eventually focus the mind more and more so that the idea seems more acceptable, more real, and believable. And because repetition is the mother of learning, then repeatedly focusing on an idea can imbed it as a belief. After all, thoughts only exist as representations, and beliefs only exist as a validation of those representations. The brain has no internal quality control mechanism for ferreting out stupid, ridiculous, or harmful beliefs. It will accept whatever you expose it to. Once installed a belief functions as part of our perceptual system and therefore filters out everything that doesn’t fit. In this way, beliefs are blind.

As we focus on our beliefs they grow and develop, so that we have fewer questions and fewer doubts, and then we feel sure, and then convinced. And the reverse happens when we experience the undoing of a belief. We go through those stages in reverse. We begin questioning, we may experience confusion, and then some doubts, we become a little unsure and then more unsure. Finally we release that belief.

Beliefs are also the presuppositions that we have about the way the world is that either create or deny personal power to us. So, they are essentially an on-off switch for our ability to perform in the world. In the process of identifying our beliefs its therefore important to determine how well they serve us.

Beliefs that serve us can open the door to excellence because they deliver direction. When we believe something is true we literally enter an empowered state. Effective beliefs are the most powerful force for creating good outcomes in our life. On the other hand beliefs that limit our thoughts and actions are just as devastating as resourceful beliefs are empowering. Effective beliefs help us tap the rich resources deep within us, creating and directing these resources in support of our desired outcomes.

As usual Anthony Robbins says it well: “Empowering beliefs are the compass and maps that guide us toward our goals, and give us the surety to know we’ll get there. Without effective beliefs or the ability to tap into them, people can be totally disempowered. With powerful guiding beliefs, we have the ability to take action and create the world we want to live in. Beliefs help us see what we want, and energise us to get what we want.”

Today I will determine not to be an indecisive frog.

2011-01-04T18:16:00.000+11:00

Today I will determine not to be an indecisive frog. Two frogs are sitting on a lily pad in the middle of a pond enjoying the early morning sun, and one decides to jump off. How many frogs jump? None, there are still two frogs sitting on the lily pad, because deciding to do something and doing something are two entirely different things. So for me today is the day I jump off my virtual lily pad and begin to take action on my goals and put my plans into motion. Research shows that the majority of people don’t take action on their New Years resolutions or if they do they quit by about the fifteenth of January. Who would like to link arms and jump with me?

Today I will manifest more results more quickly.

2010-12-18T08:06:00.000+11:00

Today I will manifest more results more rapidly. I have developed a series of simple formulas to help me remember key distinctions. And the one that’s been running in my mind today is M = T X E. This stands for: Manifestation equals Thinking multiplied by Emotion. To manifest more results more rapidly I need to evoke an emotion and link my thoughts to that emotion. Not dip them in emotion, not immerse them in emotion, but absolutely soak them in emotion. Because it’s the intensity of the emotions that I attach to my dreams and goals that motivate and move me not my thoughts. So to create more results more quickly I just need to remember my simple formula and get into action. Charles Haanel said it so well many years ago: “The emotions must be called upon to give feeling to the thought so it will take form.”

Today I will push myself against the grinding wheel of life.

2010-12-16T14:39:00.000+11:00

Today I will push myself against the grinding wheel of life. I have some rough edges that need to be ground and polished if I am to reach my full potential in this life. I remember once watching a person making a piece of craftwork where they used three different types or grades of grinding surfaces which could be broadly described as: course, medium and fine. The craftsman used a course wheel to quickly shape the material they were working, a medium wheel to give definition and detail and a fine wheel to polish the piece and remove imperfections. I think I need a fine wheel along with the courage to keep on pushing myself against it. How about you?

Today I will take action on what I know.

2010-12-07T20:10:00.000+11:00

Today I will take action on what I know. A persistent thought has been running in the background of my mind for some time now and I would like to share it with you. And that is: “To know and not to do is not yet to know.” When we take action on what we know we not only confirm that learning but we also create second order learning, or reflective learning that causes profound shifts in our consciousness and understanding. My issue is never about more knowing, because I already know much more than I could ever do, and I imagine you may be the same. To know and then to do is liberating because as Cicero so wisely said: “The power to do comes from the doing.”

There is no failure there is only feedback.

2010-12-01T23:27:00.000+11:00

A key presupposition among those who study human performance is that there is no such thing as failure, only feedback. Another variation on the theme is that there are no mistakes; only outcomes. If that’s so, we should first accept and then embrace our so called failures and mistakes and critically examine them for the lessons they can teach us. We should acknowledge our setbacks and successes as simply two sides of the one coin.

The implication here is that the results we obtain when we attempt to reach our various goals may be interpreted in different ways. And so long as we are committed to learning and growing from each experience it doesn’t matter what any particular short term outcome may be because course correction is simply a normal part of what it is to be human. In fact like an aircraft heading for its destination we are on course only two percent of the time. Our particular goal may require more effort or different actions to succeed. In many instances our ultimate long term success is not a function of grinding away at our goals but moving forward in many short well focused sprints.

So why is it that so many people adopt a sense of ‘failure’ if a particular action doesn’t work out? I’m of the opinion that it’s the result of our competitive culture which seems to be more and more about the need for instant gratification. In my own case one of the projects I am working on hasn’t developed as rapidly as I had hoped, but that’s no reason to quit. It’s rather a test bed for learning and ongoing personal and professional development. If a particular course of action isn’t producing results, then try another way. One thing I have learned in life is that quitting isn’t an option. Because if we quit once it is then more likely that we will quit again, and any behaviour that is continuously reinforced eventually becomes a part of our human conditioning and experience.

One way we can approach so called ‘failure’ is to give ourselves permission to fail. In fact if f we don’t allow ourselves to fail, then failure becomes more loaded with emotion which can prevent accepting feedback and learning from it. This process is vital to help us refine our performance and eventual success. Failure can become so soaked in emotion that our fear prevents us from succeeding. When we give ourselves permission to fail we sidestep any concerns we might feel about our performance. When we allow this we are released from the fear of failure. If we don’t allow mistakes, we will live a life that’s bland and grey. Acceptable risks can lead to incredible results. An amazing life can unfold if you allow it.

Another way we can ensure we create the amazing life which is our birthright is to engage in setting and striving for worthwhile goals. When we set, and emotionally engage with goals that challenge and stretch us we are then liberated to perform at the top of our game, and as a result create the preconditions to focus and energize our nonconscious mind. So, accepting that we have all ‘failed’ at some point we should then adopt a positive sense that if we continue we will eventually achieve our goals in life. I wish you an amazing and joyful journey as you fail your way to success.

Today I will accept full responsibility for the results in my life.

2010-11-30T20:04:00.000+11:00

Today I will accept full responsibility for the results in my life. The prerequisite for continuing personal growth is that we must first accept personal responsibility for all of our actions and reactions up to this point of time. For me that means taking responsibility for the wins and the losses, for the successes and the failures that litter my life. What’s working is down to me and what’s not working is down to me. It also rules out making excuses, laying blame on others, and justifying my actions. The past is the past! That chapter has been written, however the future is a blank page inviting me to write a new chapter in the story of my life.

Today I will affirm that the universe says yes!

2010-11-25T20:08:00.000+11:00

Today I will affirm that the universe says yes! When I build my self-esteem, the universe says yes! When I decide on a new goal in life the universe says yes! When I take action on my goal the universe says yes! When I reach out to others the universe says yes! In fact the only “no”’ I ever hear is from the internal conversation that runs like a soundtrack in my consciousness. And because I know that’s simply my ego seeking to protect me from possible disappointment and failure it can be lovingly ignored. So today I will simply affirm that the universe says…YES!

Strong character sustains a successful life

2010-11-24T19:00:00.000+11:00

Often we observe someone rise from obscurity to achieve great success in life. They flash across the firmament like a shooting star, only to then crash and burn. Why is that so? Often it’s because their talent isn’t underpinned by strong character. Talent and hard work will take us to the top in any endeavour, but only a strong character will keep us there.

Outstanding character is more important than outstanding talent. Most talents are to some extent a gift. Good character, by contrast, is not a given, it’s not set in stone. It is a construct built on the foundation of our values and beliefs. It changes over time based on what it is we give our attention to. Character therefore can be both de-constructed and also re-constructed. It’s built brick by brick, through daily attention to our thoughts and choices and underpinned by our values. It’s built with courage and determination.

So what exactly is character? Character is comprised of the collective mental and moral qualities that distinguish each of us. It’s the sum total of the daily choices we make and our current character is a result of our past choices. Our character tomorrow will be a result of today’s choices. Our choices, as viewed through the prism of our character and our behaviours will become inevitably and eventually congruent. To change our character we need to simply change our choices. Because day by day, what we think, what we chose, and what we do is who we become.

Although there will always be differences of opinion as to what constitutes character, some traits appear to be universal. A recent survey found that integrity, truthfulness, compassion, responsibility, and reverence for life were considered the most important traits. From a practical perspective the world would not function properly if responsibility and truthfulness did not exist. Our character is revealed by our behaviour, and our behaviour is a reflection of our concerns. We cannot think one way and act another. People act in certain ways because they possess a particular philosophy, and we can understand their philosophy by observing their behaviours.

Often the most important aspects of our character are developed in adversity. And just like the best timber comes from the strongest trees; those that have been buffeted by the wind, and tested by the elements such that the tension creates fine close grained timber much prized by artisans and artists. So it is with character. I prize this poem but unfortunately I cannot reference the author. It’s titled: The common law of Life.

The tree that never had to fight: for sun and sky and air and light. But stood out in the open plain: And always got its share of rain; will never become a forest king. But will live and die a spindly thing.

The man who never had to learn to toil; to gain and work his patch of soil. Who never had to win his share; of sun and sky and light and air. Never became an inspiring man; but lived and died as he began.

Good timber does not grow with ease. The stronger the wind the stronger the trees. The higher the sky the longer the length: the more the storm the more the strength. Through sun and cold by rain and snow; in both trees and men good timbers grow.

Where thickest is the forest growth. We find the patriarchs of both. And they hold counsel with the stars. Whose broken branches show the scars; of many winds and much of strife; this is the common law of life.

I encourage you to welcome the winds of adversity; they are a natural part of life. When we learn and apply its lessons we will develop a strong character, one that will sustain us in our journey through life.

Today I will remember that precision prevents slippery promises.

2010-11-23T20:12:00.000+11:00

Today I will remember that precision prevents slippery promises. Whenever I seek a commitment from another person and the result doesn’t meet my expectations it can be considered a ‘slippery’ promise. And it’s my fault. The commitment may be delivered late, be delivered in part, or be delivered differently to my expectation. No matter what the deficiency it’s my responsibility. Therefore today I will be precise and ensure clarity and agreement about exactly what it is I am requesting, when I expect it to be fulfilled, and how I will consider it delivered to my expectation. This will lift both my productivity and my effectiveness.

Common characteristics of high achievers

2010-11-19T18:51:00.000+11:00

Theodore H. White who lived from 1915-1986 was a political journalist, historian and Pulitzer Prize winning author who interviewed many internationally prominent people. Among his interview subjects were leaders in politics, science, business, religion, and the military. For over forty years he met them all, and he concluded that despite the differences in personality, background, culture and their chosen fields of endeavour that all successful people shared several common qualities. Qualities that set them apart from others. Foremost among these was a determination to scale the heights of their chosen field, a desire to impose their will on events, and a mindset that completely rejected the notion of defeat.

My own experience of working alongside many highly successful people is less broad than was that of Theodore H. White but my conclusions are basically the same. Here’s my list of the five common characteristics shared by the high achievers I know.

1. High achievers are people with a strong internal focus of control; they listen to their inner voice and choose their own goals. Great achievements are almost always won in the face of misunderstanding, objections, and often outright criticism. These people are often thought of as being lucky; luck being the residue of design and desire.

2. High achievers have vision. They are able to identify opportunity where another may see difficulty. They are able to articulate their vision and influence others to embrace their cause. They impact the status quo, sow seeds of change, and set in train improvements to the prevailing culture.

3. High achievers go early, start fast and stay strong and they course correct and fine tune as they go. It is more important to them to get out of the blocks and run than it is spend time developing detailed plans. Often they will plan at the broad brush level and then fill in the details as they move ahead. I have heard this referred to as ready, fire, aim.

4. High achievers are willing to do those things that others are unwilling to do. In so doing they separate themselves from others. Small things often add up to big accomplishments, or said another way; success is the sum of many small actions done consistently over a considerable period of time. When you examine successful lives you will find a trail of small sacrifices that lead on to large achievements.

5. High achievers fail. No doubt about that. Almost every biography of a high achiever is littered with accounts of failure. It’s almost like a right of passage. Great generals lose battles. Great politicians lose support. Great scientists lose funding. Great academics are often derided, Great athletes lose events. Great business leaders make mistakes. Yet they literally never accept temporary failure as a final defeat. They keep their eye on the main game, and keep moving relentlessly toward their objective. I have one business associate who describes the process of success in life as; Stumbling forward with intent. Often we will stumble and fall but the key is to extract the learning from that situation and to then move on.

I am interested to learn what common characteristics you observe in the high achievers that you know.

Today I will pay attention

2010-11-16T19:32:00.002+11:00

Today I will pay attention. Whenever things don’t turn out the way I intend I need to pay attention. Whenever I create results that aren't in harmony with my intentions I must examine what I'm doing, and question the results I'm creating. If my actions produce different results than expected then I need to change what I am doing and adopt actions that produce better results. I may need to ask these questions: Why do I trip myself up? Am I holding a vision that’s not congruent with my inner beliefs? Do I think that failure makes me more appealing?

Today I will consciously create my day.

2010-11-12T18:32:00.000+11:00

Today I will consciously create my day. Before the day gains momentum I will visualize how I want it to be, how I want it to flow. I will think about my plans for this day, the tasks I am committed to and the appointments I have made and I will design and rehearse the specific outcomes I wish to achieve. When I do this my day is both more productive and more predictable. The improved results I gain from this practice provide the power and incentive to continue it as a daily discipline.

Today I will bend before the winds of adversity.

2010-11-10T19:23:00.000+11:00

Today I will bend before the winds of adversity. It is said that mighty trees need powerful winds to flex their trunks and main branches so that sap is drawn up to nourish the budding leaves. Perhaps I also need the adverse winds of life to strengthen and nourish me in a similar way. A period of adversity is often the prelude to a new spring of success and happiness. I will therefore bend before the winds of adversity but I will not break.

Like a thoroughbred, we are bred to win

2010-11-05T18:57:00.000+11:00

The Melbourne Spring Racing Carnival attracts the finest thoroughbred horses, not only from Australia but from around the world. They gather to race for the millions of dollars of prize money on offer. The highlight of the carnival is the Melbourne Cup which attracts over one hundred thousand people. This is literally the race that stops a nation. Almost everyone has a favourite horse and the media seems to feed us a never-ending diet of information and insights.

Today I read a newspaper article about the career of one of these champion horses. The story featured a picture of the horse as a young colt with the caption: He was born to run! In the picture the horse was a gangly colt, all long spindly legs and knobbly knees with a body that seemed out of proportion. Despite the fact that he was a newborn barely able to stand or walk, it was evident that this was a thoroughbred born to race. He carried within everything required to make him the champion he is today.

And like that young colt; we also are born to run. We also carry within us the inherent qualities that can enable us to ‘figuratively’ run like the wind. What do I mean? Simply that human beings are designed for achievement, we are designed for success, it’s in our genes, it’s in our bloodlines, it’s our heritage, and it’s our birthright. We are not designed or destined for failure or for unhappiness. Everything I have studied in the realm of neuroscience and human performance points to the fact that we are indeed fearfully and wonderfully made. We are like thoroughbreds, designed for success in this life. We may begin awkwardly, we may stumble from time to time but we are ultimately bred for success.

Just like winning racehorses share common characteristics, so also do winning people. Not in ways that show of course. Physically there is no way to discern between the winners and the losers in life. Winners come from every country and culture, from small and large families, from small villages and large cities. They may be younger or older, both men and women. However with all that said; people who achieve great things share many attributes. I know and have known many winners. Knowing them has been a gift given to me as a result of my professional life. It has been my privilege in many different individual and organizational scenarios to either, work with them, to train them, to coach them, or to lead them.

I have had the opportunity of working with and observing up close many successful people and have often posed the question: What is it that sets successful people apart, what is it that makes a winner, a winner? What qualities make ordinary people extra-ordinary people? Winners are strikingly similar. What they are on the inside, is as similar; as what they are on the outside, is dissimilar. The same touchstones are evident in all successful people.

They have a strong internal reference system, they are focused sometimes almost to the extreme on attaining their goals, they have a great capacity to engage with others, and to engage others in their vision. They are disciplined, they are resilient, and they keep score. They have capacities and reserves not seen in others. And the good news is there are no secrets, these are all learnable behaviours. You and I can model all of these winning attributes. You are bred to run and win. You can be a champion.

Today I will cook this delicious recipe for happiness.

2010-11-03T19:55:00.000+11:00

Today I will cook this delicious recipe for happiness. Take equal parts of faith and courage, add a large spoonful of optimism, mix well with a sense of humour, sprinkle with just a few tears and finally add a large helping of kindness. Bake in a good natured oven, and dust with laughter. Scrape away any self-indulgence that is evident. Now cut into thick slices and serve a portion to everyone that you know.

Today I will bolster my self-belief. Self-belief is not a passive....

2010-11-01T18:14:00.000+11:00

Today I will bolster my self-belief. Self-belief is not a passive or static state but in my experience it ebbs and flows as we proceed through life, and it’s both the precursor and predictor of performance. When our self-belief is strong we perform well, and when our self-belief is weak we perform poorly. Self-belief is also reactive, and when we meet with adversity or suffer failure it can recede. I need to be both vigilant and proactive to continually bolster and build my self-belief, so today I will allocate time to read and reflect on my present state.

2010-10-18T22:41:00.000+11:00

Today I will improve the effectiveness of my communication by remembering the three simple steps to creating successful outcomes. The first step is to know what I want to achieve. The second is to uncover what the other person wants to achieve. The third step is to discover how we can both have what we want. Whenever I focus on these three simple steps I create value for all concerned and grow my skills in the process.

2010-10-18T21:07:00.000+11:00

Today I will serve another so that I may grow. I will actively seek an opportunity to provide service to someone who either does not know what I know or cannot do what I can do. In doing this I will both provide and receive value. I am informed by the words of Ralph Waldo Emerson who said: “It is one of the most beautiful compensations of this life that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself.”

2010-10-18T20:41:00.000+11:00

Today I will listen to my listening. I will listen more attentively to the continual internal conversations running in the background of my consciousness about my emotions, actions and reactions in life. I will catch and question the concerns and self-assessments that precede my actions and reactions. The better I understand my motivations the better I will be at adopting behaviour that serves me and others well.

Who can lead us to the promised land?

2010-08-08T18:24:00.000+10:00

Many articles are written by authors who claim that they have identified some significant ‘secret’ that when applied will absolutely turn our life around. Particularly in this time of economic uncertainty, ever increasing change, tending even to turmoil, people seem to looking for the secret, the magic bullet that will create immediate success. Therefore anyone who claims ‘instant’ success commands attention. Along with the person who asserts that they have discovered the long lost, or the recently discovered key that will unlock the door to the riches of the Promised Land.

I’m amused by the ever expanding numbers of people, particularly on the internet clamouring for our attention and dollars by promising: the amazing secret, the latest hot idea, specialized coaching, critical information, the ultimate webinar. These advertisements are always skilfully structured and are loaded with strong ‘social proof’ via endorsements from other industry identities. These marketers often play on our fear of loss. Act now or this offer will disappear forever! Click now for instance access! Much is promised, but little of substance is delivered.

In my experience there is no such thing as one single secret, or key, to success. There is, however a combination lock - and when we align all the numbers we release the lock. The so called - secret to success - is located in a rarely explored and mysterious place. That is, within our conscious and non-conscious mind and intuition.

I remember one wise mentor of mine who taught me to always, and only, seek council from those with a vested interest in my success. As a result through the years I have had the privilege of being mentored by an amazing group of people. Knowledgeable people: both engaged, and engaging. Wise people: many earning multiple six and seven figures a year.

And yet when I reflect on their council over the years it’s most often been about taking more action, more focused action, correct action. It’s not been about gaining more knowledge but putting my current knowledge into action. So perhaps that’s the answer for others too. This isn’t to suggest we shouldn’t invest time to extend our personal and professional development. Or that knowledge isn’t necessary, or gaining it time wasted, but simply to understand that knowing, deep down in-the-gut knowing, is always preceded by doing. As Cicero so wisely stated: “The skill to do comes from the doing.”

Here’s a suggestion for those or you with the fire of ambition burning fiercely within. First identify the most successful person you can access, someone considered a master in your field, someone to whom you can relate. Ask if they will mentor you, and if they agree, latch onto them like a leach on a bare leg. Learn to ask: What next and what else? Do only what they suggest and nothing different without first checking with them. Plug into and follow the predictable pattern of activities that guarantee success in your field. Fire up and focus, and determine to stay the course until you achieve what it is you want.

I’m not sure of the name of the author of this quotation, but it fits the subject. “Beyond coaching, and teaching is mentoring. A mentor is someone with the ability and heart to help another person to develop their vision and mission. A mentor supports another by providing experiences and contexts which help bring out the best of that person’s understanding of love, self, and spirit. A mentor awakens others through their own integrity and congruence; they are in full contact with their own vision and mission and can help another get in touch with their vision and mission.”

How to have more effective conversations

2010-07-15T19:28:00.000+10:00

All organisations can be described as being comprised of people engaged in a network of conversations and relationships, and therefore conversational effectiveness is a key competency for every one of us. An important way we can determine how well we work together is to explore the idea of conversational labour. Irrespective of the work we do, that work it is conducted through conversations and therefore how we think, listen, and speak can be categorized as work. Our conversations also include the phone calls, emails, sms messages, and online social media interactions that allow us to interact with others.

As the ‘technical work’ we do becomes ever more specialized and complex a crucial issue becomes how well we co-ordinate that work with others. The increased reliance on people to achieve results causes us to focus on the quality of our communication. And to become more productive and effective we must improve the quality of our observations, our conversations, and our relationships.

A decade ago approximately twenty five percent of all work functions could be described as specialized technical work. However most of the work roles that now exist didn’t then exist. Today approximately seventy five percent of all work can be categorised as specialized technical work. This leads us to examine and in turn appreciate the importance of our inter-dependence and inter-connection in the way we work, and also how we coordinate our various roles and actions.

As you reflect on your role within your job, business, or profession here are several questions you may wish to respond to: What are you accountable for? How is it that you do what you do? And how then do you do that? When you continually ask yourself that last question: How do you do that? You will inevitably respond with: You listen to and talk to people! In other words you have conversations with people. Conversations can be categorised as both formal and informal that occur one to one and also within teams or groups.

What percentage of your typical day do you spend in conversation? Researchers have shown that up to eighty percent of all work can be categorised as conversational work. So when we work we spend much of our time communicating with others, and we already know that speaking and listening are key factors for co-ordinating action and achieving results. In this context we refer to conversation rather than communication. The word conversation is derived from the Latin ‘con-versare’ which can be said to mean; getting things done, or; changing together, or; together bringing about improvement.

Conversational quality is therefore a core competency for individuals, teams and organisations. How well we speak and how well we listen has a direct effect on others and their response to us. How well we listen also affects the quality of our speaking and our behaviour. And we should also consider the effectiveness of the conversations we continually listen to, those are the conversations we have with ourselves in our minds. These are our on-going internal interpretations about what it is that’s being said. They could be described as us - listening to our listening.

The quality of our conversations has both a short and also long term impact on our individual, team, and organisational performance. Therefore improving how well we speak, and also how well listen, is fundamental to effective communication, and therefore a key competence for creating an effective life.

Enemies and Allies of learning and change

2010-07-12T10:29:00.000+10:00

A young man approached Socrates the great philosopher and sage and pleaded that he accept him as a student. Socrates responded by asking the young man to walk with him along the bank of a river and then beckoned him to enter the water with him. Suddenly Socrates grasped the young man and forced his head under water. He man struggled frantically to free himself but Socrates held him tightly and kept him submerged. Finally, the young man became exhausted so Socrates released him and then asked: When you thought you were drowning what one thing did you want most of all? Still gasping he exclaimed: I wanted air! Socrates smiled and said: When you want knowledge as much as you wanted air, then you will get it!

The lesson for us in this story is that to learn and change we must be committed. How we approach learning inevitably shapes what we understand to be possible in dealing with the issues that confront us in life. Committing ourselves to lifelong learning is central to developing what the Dalai Lama calls a flexible or pliant mode of thinking. How each of us operates as a learner inevitably shapes what we see to be possible when dealing with difficulties that may challenge us.

One way to discern how we approach learning is to consider any unintentional blockages we may have. These enemies of learning often occur as silent statements and judgements. For instance they may include an inability to acknowledge our ignorance or admit that someone else may know. Or perhaps we hold an unwillingness to allow another person the permission or authority to teach us. Sometimes we may have self-doubt about our ability to learn and change, or perhaps we may be trapped in a mood of anxiety or resignation, or resentment. Knowing and acknowledging our enemies of learning is the first step in moving beyond them.

Another key step is to nurture and develop our allies of learning. These include humility, which enables us to acknowledge our ignorance and to grant ourselves permission to learn from another. Courage, so we allow ourselves to be open to new, and sometimes difficult areas of learning or to different methods of learning. Also, developing a constructive frame of mind along with a way of being that incorporates curiosity, wonder, humour, lightness and playfulness. These attributes and a determination to persist with learning will serve us well.

Throughout time people have always adapted to changing circumstances. However, what we are faced with currently is not just change, but change at warp speed. We are now living with change that is unprecedented in both speed and frequency. If coping with change is about learning, then faster and more frequent change is going to require faster and more frequent learning. If so, then the question is: How? We may be able to learn new skills and strategies, but how long before these become obsolete and then what do we do?

It is imperative to move to another level of learning, deep or experiential learning, or what Peter Senge calls, second order learning. Why is it that we often find ourselves stuck when dealing with difficult circumstances and issues we can’t resolve? Why do the same issues continue to limit our effectiveness in our professional and personal lives? Typically, we might respond by saying: Because we don’t know how to deal with them. In other words we have not been successful in changing our behaviour so that we can get more satisfactory outcomes. Engaging in critical thinking and reflecting on why it is so will cause us to deepen our learning. I invite you to explore and identify any enemies and allies of learning you may have.

Examine your thinking and identify three enemies of learning that are evident and that you wish to release. Ask yourself: do I confuse knowing with having an opinion? Do I confuse knowing with thinking I’m right? Do I regard knowing as having information?

Then identify three allies of learning that you wish to reinforce and that will significantly impact your ability to learn and succeed in life. Ask yourself: Is my way of being such that I am open to learning? How can I be more open to learn from other people and events? Finally ask every day; what else is possible?

How our thoughts and words create reality

2010-06-25T18:23:00.000+10:00

Through-out history the wisest of the wise: revered religious leaders, eminent philosophers, celebrated scientists, have all stated in various ways one key principle: whatever we think about, fervently believe, hold in our mind and speak about will eventually come to pass. We literally create our future with our thoughts and words.

The beliefs we hold about what’s possible govern all of our experiences and the thoughts we dwell on become self-fulfilling prophecies. What we vision and envision in life is what we create and the things that happen to us and around us are created by our thoughts and words. Emotion is the catalyst that manifests our thoughts into reality because when we focus with intense emotion we ultimately attract what we focus on into our experience. What we think about we bring about.

Irrespective of our culture every one of us is subject to the same universal laws and we all work with the same infinite power. Every thought creates a frequency, a magnetic energy, and when we add intense emotion; like attracts like. As a result we attract what we think about often and with feeling. What we think, what we feel, and what we say manifests as a match. Without exception! Whenever we focus on a particular outcome with strong emotion, we attract it or the resources to accomplish it. Belief creates the end result.

And we know that our thoughts both lead and inform our words. Many leading linguists, including John Searle who has written extensively about what he terms ‘speech acts’ states that when we use words, we not only use them to describe our world but we also declare or decide it. Whenever we make what is known as a ‘declaration’ such as: I am…; I will…; I can…; I have…; I believe…; we literally create our circumstances. We should use words with great care because we fashion our world with the words we use and the way we use them.

Then most importantly we must also take action to accomplish what we think about and speak about because affirmation without action is futile.

Here’s how you can test this. Identify something you desire, it could be an item, an activity, something that will benefit you and others. For example: accelerating your career or business, eating correctly, or exercising more frequently, or devoting more time to family and loved ones. Or perhaps something that awakens the best in you, like investing in continuing personal and professional education. Have you got it? Vividly picture that thought in your mind, feel the intense emotion that the end result represents and then step into that representation and declare the thing accomplished, say it aloud while you imagine the outcome. Celebrate and savour the feeling.

And a final thought: “Manifesting our dreams and desires, creating what we think about so it becomes a reality does not depend on our education, our ethnicity, our cultural heritage, or our environment. It’s solely the result of what we think, what we feel, what we declare, and what we do. In other words what we choose to believe is possible; is possible.”

When we reset old patterns new possibilities emerge

2010-06-17T17:09:00.000+10:00

Our mind tries its hardest to simplify our life by setting up routine patterns. These patterns are of perception, of action, and of reaction. And once we’ve established a pattern of behaviour we flow along with it without further effort. I can identify patterns or habits that don’t serve me well. Things I do unconsciously that sabotage me being the best I can be. And I wonder if that’s true for you too?
A behavioural pattern or habit is an automatic or conditioned response to stimuli. It’s something we do naturally and easily without thought or effort. Once developed a pattern or habit has a momentum of its own. It controls our behaviour and our responses to the events in our world. Almost everything we do is determined by habit. From the time we get up in the morning to the time we go to sleep at night our habits largely control the words we say, the things we do and the ways we react and respond.

It is said that we form our habits and then our habits form us. Successful, happy people are those who have chosen to adopt habits that are life affirming, and life enhancing. Unsuccessful, unhappy people are those who have chosen to adopt habits that hurt them and hold them back. The good news is all human habits are learned and they can be changed. We all have a choice and can choose to adopt any habit that we consider desirable or necessary. And especially if we are willing to work at personal change long enough to succeed in replacing habits that don’t serve us with those that do.

Any habit, good or bad, is something we do naturally and easily, without thought or effort. Once developed, a habit has a momentum of its own, controlling our behaviour and our responses to the events in our world. A habit never just disappears, and it can’t be broken. It can only be replaced by a new and better habit. I have found that good habits are hard to develop but they’re easy to live with; and bad habits are easy to develop but they’re hard to live with.

Habits are a direct result of our thinking, our environment, and our emotions. If you think and feel a certain way, you will act in accord with that feeling. Repetition creates habit. You don’t create a new habit by doing something once; you create a new habit by doing something over and over until it creates a groove in the brain and it clicks into place. However if we act as if we already have that better habit, and then repeat that action often enough it will develop within us a way of behaving that is consistent with our desires. Since life is underpinned by our habits, it’s important to decide which serve you, and in particular to decide to acquire the habit of living a fulfilled and happy life.

Success in life is a multi-faceted thing. But one key element is to understand the importance of continually practicing those specific, simple behaviours that lead to success. Success is the end result of a disciplined application of a pattern of habitual behaviours. We first form our habits and then our habits both inform and form our future.

Here’s a wonderful way of stating this thought from Orison Swett Marden: “Our habits are like the fine, almost invisible threads that comprise the magnificent tapestry that is our life. Every time we weave a thread we strengthen the strand, add to it another filament, until it becomes a great cable that binds us irrevocably, thought and act.”

Leading others through skilful communication

2010-05-28T18:27:00.000+10:00

All organisations are the extended shadow of its leadership and the quality of the conversations they initiate and sustain. Organisations are simply networks of people seeking to cooperate and coordinate various actions to achieve an agreed outcome. And this coordination of action can only occur through language. Therefore one way to describe an organisation is; a group of people engaged in continued and interconnected conversations. The effectiveness of their conversations can be observed in the level of performance and service provided to customers and stakeholders.

A leader’s work is conversational work, and involves using language as the predominant means for creating action. Therefore conversational effectiveness is a key skill because all organisations are simply linguistic structures built by words and maintained by conversations. Even problems that aren’t strictly communicational - failures of systems for example - can be explored in terms of things said and not said, questions asked and not asked, conversations never begun or left uncompleted, alternate explanations not discussed.

A key aspect of leadership is defining and building organisational culture and drawing people into purposeful engagement. This is done through the development of shared beliefs, vision, mission and purpose. This requires leaders to have the ability to use language seductively, so that they are listened to as being able to generate possibilities and energise others, and also address the concerns, issues and needs people have.

The most effective leaders are those committed to a creating a positive and encouraging culture which they create through their skilful use of language. They use carefully crafted language to articulate a vision that both embraces and empowers others to participate in that vision. Therefore, the essence of leadership is the ability to articulate ‘what could be’ and to create a vision for improvement and development. Effective leadership then is dependent on conversational mastery. So how do leaders speak differently? Understanding this could prompt us to make changes in our communication and therefore help us become more effective when we seek to influence and lead others.

Every effective leader I have known has a positive, influential and motivating presence and a strong, solid sense of self. This combined with the skilful use of language allows them to influence and motivate others. The creative and mindful use of language is perhaps the single most important factor for creating change in others. Great language like great music; has rhythm, has pitch, has tone, and can move you.

So in summary; an effective leader is one able to address the key concerns and needs of others. Is one who is listened to as being influential. Is one able to engage others in a particular course of action to accomplish mutually agreed goals. Any great leader is first and foremost an effective conversationalist. They are sensitive to, and able to influence the conversations that take place around them. We all ‘live’ in language. Language is not only how we describe our world, but is also the means through which we declare and create our future.

In closing, a quote from author W. Bergquist: “A leader must be first and foremost a conversationalist. They must be sensitive to, and able to influence the conversations that take place in an organisation.”

We live in a world that is saturated with stories

2010-05-20T17:18:00.000+10:00

There’s an old story about a young man who had read all the books he could find about Zen. Because he was eager to learn more he sought to become a student of a Zen master who lived in the mountains. When they met the young man proceeded to tell the master all that he understood. Saying Zen is this, and Zen is that, talking on and on and on.

After some time the master suggested the student sit while the master prepared tea. The student sat, bowing when served. Saying nothing the master began to pour tea into the student’s cup. He poured until the cup was full, and kept on pouring. The tea ran over the edge of the cup and onto the table. The master kept pouring, and the tea spilled onto the floor. Finally, the student couldn’t contain himself any longer. He shouted: Stop! Stop pouring! The cup is full and no more will go in! The master stopped pouring and said: Just like this cup, your mind is full of your own opinions and preconceptions. How my son can you learn anything unless you first empty your cup?

We live in a world saturated with stories and parables, and these form the rich linguistic tapestry within which we live. We were born into narratives. They existed before our birth and we absorbed them as we grew. They create and inform the social practices and mores of every community; they are accepted, perpetuated, often enhanced and then passed onto others. We are all informed, enriched and sustained by the cultural, ethnic, religious, political, social, and family references into which we were born and live and these narratives provide meaning and also an interpretation about the world we observe around us.

Our personal stories are how we relate and connect with those in our world, and they also explain the divisions within our societies. In countries with a history of immigration it can take many generations before a particular immigrant group fully relates to the cultural narratives that are accepted and shared by the broader community.

We each tell our personal stories for many purposes, including to define or to redefine our past, to justify our behaviour, to explain ourselves to others, to develop relationships, to influence, to create an advantage in some way, and to speak into existence our future. Our personal narratives are powerful tools we use to explain the past, relate to the present, and create the future.

There are several basic types of stories we tell: Stories that explain who we are. Stories that explain why we are here. Stories about what we did, did not do, or now intend to do. And stories about how something is done! You could think of these as teaching stories. In fact our personal stories depending on whether they are negative or positive have the power to close down or open up our world.

So here’s an exercise to help you decide if your current stories serve you well. Are they predominantly negative or positive? Do they inform your sense of being in the world in such a way that they help you or hinder you? Do they facilitate your ability to learn grow and develop as a person? What would happen if you were to examine your personal stories and rewrite and reshape them so they become more potent, more powerful, more empowering narratives that help you better navigate your way through the world? A great story can inspire you and others and it’s always more exciting to listen to an empowering story, isn’t it?

Whats happening when we listen to other people?

2010-05-13T18:23:00.000+10:00

How well do we listen? And what’s happening when we do? I contend that listening is an active not a passive process because it involves us in interpreting and making sense of what others are saying. Therefore listening is essentially about us making meaning from the verbal and nonverbal behaviours of ourselves and other people.

Listening also consists of the silent, and often unconscious internal conversations that continually run in our mind about our actions and reactions. This is called ‘listening to our listening’ and it’s how we generate understanding and meaning. It’s the process we use to make sense of what’s going on both within us and around us. We could therefore say that listening; equals hearing plus our interpretation about what it is we hear. You could remember it as: Listening=Hearing+Interpretation.

We are pre-disposed to listen from our pre-understanding which is shaped by our experiences, including our ethnic, cultural, religious, and family influences. These comprise the varied threads that woven together create the unique way we listen. For instance people who were raised and who live in Africa, or America, or Australia all ‘listen’ from a different ‘frame’ or perspective. Our life experiences, our history, the stories and narratives we’ve been exposed to, have all shaped how we listen and as a result what it is we hold to be important.

The key influence in the way we listen is our own background because this created the preferences and prejudices that influence our identity. In addition our historical and cultural narratives including gender, our religious experience and beliefs, ethnicity and culture all contribute to inform how we view the world. Social practices and expectations about ‘the way things are done around here’ also help shape the way certain behaviours are held to be legitimate or not in any society.

We tend to think communication is only about speaking, but in reality communication equals our speaking plus the ‘listening’ of the other person. That’s because the quality of our communication is always vested in the response we receive. One of the major challenges to communicating well is being able to evoke from others the response we want and the other persons ‘always, already, and automatic’ listening, or pre-interpretation is why that is an issue.

Have you noticed that often before someone even begins to speak that we have a pre-interpretation about what it is they could say. That’s because our listening is ‘always’ switched on, and we are ’already’ listening and ‘automatically’ listening. However whenever we speak it doesn’t guarantee that the other person is listening from the same frame as we are. Every conversation we have is influenced by the listening of another and we therefore need to speak to the ‘concerns’ they are listening to so that we can then create the response we want.

Our moods and emotions predispose us to listen to some things and not to others. The way we speak and listen to each other therefore both expands and limits the possibilities in any relationship. We listen to others from our life experiences. We also listen to the present from our past, and the to the future from the present.

There are two key aspects we should think about: The first is to take charge of our listening by accepting our responsibility to observe the interpretations that we have and to be prepared to question how effectively those interpretations serve us. The second is our willingness to tune into the likely listening of the person we are speaking with? Listening is crucial to effective conversation and it is the key factor in quality communication.

High performers have an intense internal focus

2010-05-06T17:55:00.000+10:00

The people who we consider to be high performers in life all share one special attribute that sets them apart from others and that is an intense focus on the attainment of their outcomes or goals. They pursue their personal goals with a white hot intensity that can appear like an obsession to the casual observer. They have a capacity for concentrating their energy and efforts on the specific goal they are seeking to the exclusion of anything or anyone that threatens to disturb their focus. The average person by contrast is relatively unfocused and so moves from one loosely defined desire to another without necessarily achieving many or any of them.

One of the keys to high personal performance is to first develop a crystal clear mental picture of what we want to achieve. This is vitally important so that whenever our brain, whose primary goal it is to seek self-preservation, asks: Why must I suffer? Why must I experience emotional pain? That we can answer by reviewing the vision that burns within. And then continue on towards our goal. The average person lacks this mental and emotional clarity and therefore they tend to quit as soon as the pain kicks in.

If we desire to move beyond our present position, and if we are determined to live a life larger than that allowed by our current self-limitations, we must first craft a clear internal image of the goal we want and the life we wish to lead. Then as we work towards that goal eventually our external life will mirror our vision. As we continue to expand our thinking, our life correspondingly expands to encompass more, to accommodate our vision, and that then provides us with a powerful internal source of self motivation.

External motivation is by its nature short lived, but by contrast internal motivation is nearly impossible to exhaust. High performers know that the secret to success is the knowledge that they will fight when the going gets tough. Logic doesn’t motivate us, our emotions motivate us. Our motivation resides in the deep recesses of the psyche. The key to mining this resource is to ask ourselves well crafted questions such as: What am I willing to fight for? What is it that will keep me committed to this goal in the face of adversity?’ and to keep on asking those questions until we respond with emotional rather than logical answers.

Here’s an exercise that will help focus you on your vision. Identify the single most important goal you want to achieve this year and make a commitment to concentrate on achieving it, no matter what it takes. Choose a goal that will make a positive impact on your life and the lives of others. Something so compelling that it will create a fire within and sustain you during the journey. Something so great that when you achieve it you will experience deep emotional satisfaction. Got it? Then write it down now!

This quotation from author Jack Canfield sums up the subject well. “Visualisation - the act of creating compelling and vivid pictures in your mind, may be the most under-utilised success tool you possess, because it greatly accelerates the achievement of any success in three powerful ways. Visualisation activates the creative powers of your subconscious mind. Visualisation focuses your brain by programming its reticular activating system to notice available resources that were always there but were previously unnoticed. Visualisation magnetises and attracts to you the people, resources, and opportunities you need to achieve your goal.

Does the joy lie in the journey or the destination?

2010-04-22T17:51:00.000+10:00

At one time I invested ten years in pursuit of a major business goal and when I achieved that goal there was much rejoicing and celebration. However about a month later I noticed a significant shift in my emotional state; it was a feeling of settling back because the task was accomplished. I experienced this reaction because I had not set a follow up goal. I had not created a new vision to strive for. This leads me to believe that the joy in life is, for me, grounded in the journey, the daily striving, not in the destination.

The greatest highs I have experienced in my business career occurred whenever I entered that state in which we experience the highest and best of human joy and happiness. That sense of excitement and effortless competency that comes whenever we respond to a challenge. As many writers have noted, that kind of happiness isn’t achieved by reaching a goal, it is achieved more indirectly as a consequence of finding some activity, adventure, or challenge that fully captivates our attention and in turn demands all of our skills and capabilities. This state can be referred to as, self actualization, or the flow state.

What then does this experience feel like? Abraham Maslow used the term ‘peak experience’ to describe those occasions of great joy, intense happiness and deep satisfaction that occur whenever we are fully present and so completely engaged with something that it’s as if we are as one with the experience. The specific event that triggers the peak experience is not nearly as important as our state of consciousness. That is, being completely present to the task and engaging all our capabilities and treating the event as significant, important, and meaningful.

Eminent neuro-scientist Mihayli Csikszentmihayli stated the same thing: ‘It isn’t the specific activity that creates the self-actualization or flow state. It is the synergy of challenge and competency, the synergy of meaning and performance.’ Whenever we give of ourselves completely we step into that state where we emotionally engage so fully that everything else disappears and we experience an intense feeling of joy. And as the world recedes, and our self-awareness vanishes we then experience that almost mystical sense of being; of being so present with the task we are engaged with that we merge with and become one with the task to the extent that time passes like a flash and becomes unimportant.

What a way to spend our day, stepping in and out of that state of flow! When life is like that it becomes an experience of pure joy. Would you like to experience that feeling of flow? To fully enter into the task at hand; achieving a oneness with that state of flow, focus and total presence at any moment that you choose. What would you pay for that skill? How much would that joy, that pleasure, be worth to you?

Here is how we can capture that feeling. The joy of living in a state of flow happens whenever we add rich and robust meaning to whatever we are doing. Whenever we perceive any activity as a worthwhile challenge. And the magic in this process is that once we have done that, our mind and body will begin to activate resources and capabilities to actualize the challenge, to meet and satisfy that challenge, and then we will elevate our performance to the next level and that’s when we experience joy in doing the task. That’s the feeling of flow, the achieving of self-actualization.

Can fear and faith coexist in us at the same time?

2010-04-14T20:08:00.000+10:00

Fear and faith are polar opposites and cannot coexist in our mind at the same time. Only one or the other can exist at any one time and we get to choose which one. Fear is defined as: a state of alarm, an unwelcome apprehension, an uneasy anxiety, an expectation of pain or dread. Faith is defined as: an easy confidence, a sense of complete trust, a firm belief, sometimes even in the absence of logical proof.

Rajeev Dewan writes that…’fear exists at two levels, at the surface level and the source level. Surface fear is the response you give when asked the question: What do you fear? Source fear is the fear deep below the surface. While there are an infinite number of surface fears, our source fears - our deepest fears - can be grouped into three categories. Fear of loss, either the loss of: people or possessions. Fear of pain either: physical pain or psychological pain. Fear of rejection, by family members or others.’

Fear is an emotion and every one of our emotions is valid including the emotion of fear, especially when it motivates us to take positive action to avoid danger. However, unnecessarily focusing on fear has some serious consequences including a feeling of paralysis that prevents us from taking the actions required to pursue our goals and dreams. Worrying about things that will most likely never happen, and therefore not enjoying the present moment can cause us to live a restricted life, and lead to us taking refuge from life inside our comfort zone. It will also cause us to limit the realization of our potential.

Fear is all about the mind dwelling on negative possibilities that then prevent us from taking positive actions. It is more often fear of what we ‘imagine’ rather than fear of ‘reality’ that holds us back. Fear is an irrational emotion; it has to be, because it focuses on an imagined future, that is, something that isn’t happening at this point of time. Fear is a darkroom for developing negatives. Its intention is to protect us, yet it serves only to stress, limit and can ultimately destroy us. Fear has been described as - false evidence appearing real. It is literally all in the mind, and if we allow fear to take control we are likely to draw to us what it is we fear most of all.

If you recognise that you predominantly live with fear then the best choice you can make is a conscious decision to live with faith. Faith in what? Faith in yourself. Faith in you dreams. Faith in your skills. Faith in your inherent abilities. When we focus on faith and believe that our dreams will happen, we then attract the best that the universe can provide. And sometimes when we seem to be holding on to a dream against all odds, and when so-called ‘reality’ whispers in our ear: You can’t do this. You can’t succeed. Then the only way to effectively deal with that fear is to replace fear with faith and confidence. Fear is an emotion linked to a vision and the way we can change that is to replace our fearful vision with a new and more empowering vision. We human beings have the innate ability to craft a new vision and therefore change the emotion associated with an act or activity from fear to confidence.

We can simply replace fear with faith by adopting a more empowering vision, one that will allow us to take positive action, and develop traction. Faith will attract to you the resources you need to transform and manifest your dreams into their physical equivalent. But it won’t happen without belief. You must see your good, seek your good, and believe in your good to make it appear. People with less talent but stronger belief can achieve far more, far sooner than those with strong ability, but little faith. Trust that the force that moves the universe is on your side. Fear or faith! Your choice will define your life.

Moving from intention through to achievement

2010-02-18T20:29:00.000+11:00

Defining success is a difficult task because success is deeply personal and means something different to each one of us. However the process of achieving success isn’t a mystery. It’s not some deep, dark secret. In fact the ‘secret of success’ is so simple that most people miss it. There is a system for success that can be summed up in five words: intention, attention, action, perseverance and achievement.

Our ‘intentions’ shape our lives. Intentions are the things we continually move toward. They guide and indeed dictate every action we take and are a long-standing puzzle in the study of human consciousness. Intention is defined as: directing the mind with purpose toward some object or outcome. And our intentions represent both challenges and opportunities for creating a better life. Indeed, this draws our focus to one of the most interesting and perplexing questions about the connection between our mind, body and spirit - leading us to explore how our thoughts influence us both directly and indirectly.

Directing and then keeping our ‘attention’ on our intentions is the key component of superior performance in every activity we engage with. Our attention should naturally follow our intentions as naturally as night follows day. Great achievers down through the ages have consistently demonstrated an ability to focus their energy, their entire being on the intentions they deem important. It’s vital to concentrate and focus our energy only on the key tasks that support our intentions instead of frittering it away. Life is the study of attention. Where our attention goes, our heart goes also, and therefore our ability to focus on activities that have high value is central to everything we accomplish in life.

Taking immediate ‘action’ to achieve our intentions, creating an absolute blizzard of activity is the next key step. Fast, focused and defined action is better yet. Perhaps the initial actions you take will be successful, but perhaps some adjustments or even different actions will need to follow. However the key issue is that once you decide your intention and focus your attention then massive and measured action will help you achieve the outcome you want.

The next key is ‘perseverance.’ This isn’t about running a marathon but rather committing to a series of short sharp focused sprints one immediately after another. Few things are impossible to the person who persists. Great successes are not achieved by skill alone but through perseverance. The rewards for those who persist far exceed the pain that precedes victory. Resolve in advance of taking action that no matter what happens you will never give up. You will bounce rather than break. You will keep on keeping on until success is achieved. It’s difficult to develop this trait without a strong sense of purpose. So lock in your intention, focus your attention, take massive action and persevere until…….

So we can then say that people who achieve success follow a consistent formula. The first step is to know our intention, to clearly and precisely define exactly what we want. The second step is to focus our attention otherwise our desires will always be dreams. In the third step we take massive action. Action that we believe will provide the greatest probability of producing the results we want. And because our initial actions may not create the results we want, we need to measure and analyse the responses and results that flow from our actions and decide if they are taking us towards or away from our intentions.

Then take the fourth step, which is to adapt, adjust, and accelerate our actions, to push on and persevere until we finally celebrate our ‘achievement.’ Do take the time to celebrate your victory, its important. And from Anthony Robbins: “There is a powerful driving force within every human being that once unleashed can make any vision, dream or desire a reality.”

The essence of attaining more personal power

2010-02-11T11:26:00.000+11:00

Is it possible for a person to realise their full potential in life without embracing self-responsibility? I don’t think so. It’s just not possible to become all that we can be unless we take full responsibility for our thoughts and emotions, our actions and reactions. Taking self-responsibility is a pre-condition for realising our human potential. So, why can’t we reach our full potential without accepting self-responsibility? Simply because success isn’t an inevitable consequence of living but the result of our personal choices over time; choices that involve effort, focus, vision, and the actualizing of our talents.

So, success is not something that happens to us separate from our awareness, vision, and effort. It’s not like winning a lottery. And that’s precisely why success is not attained by people who are passive, or lazy, or those who follow the path of least resistance, and the blamers and complainers. It is reserved for those who embrace the need to take personal responsibility. Those who nurture a vision of expanding and exploiting their talents and passions and becoming the best they can be in life.

Self-responsibility is a prerequisite of self-actualization and without it we can never become our best. In fact, it is indeed a function of our responses, our performance as we seek to turn our dreams, visions, and values into reality. Self-responsibility begins with our basic powers of thinking, emoting, speaking and behaving. It begins with this basic power that we all have as our heritage of being human. That’s why owning and fully claiming these powers is essential for unleashing our potential. Only then can we begin to develop the self-responsibility that’s necessary.

How self-responsible are you? To discover the answer I invite you to write ten responses to the following sentence stems: “If I took complete responsibility for what I think……” “If I took complete responsibility for what I feel……” “If I took complete responsibility for what I say……” “If I took complete responsibility for what I do……”

Don’t be concerned whether the endings you generate are positive or negative. The purpose of your response is to increase awareness. It is to download what’s in your mind so you can identify better choices. Choices that will help you to get what you want in life. Self-responsibility is about owning our powers, and how we express them. And then taking a positive approach to those things we need to do better so we can fulfil our dreams. That leads to yet another sentence stem that we can use to develop self-responsibility: “If I were to take full responsibility for making my dreams and visions come true…...”

Self-responsibility is not for the faint hearted or those with low self esteem. Self-responsibility takes us a long way along the path of self-actualization because we don’t waste time and energy blaming, accusing, complaining, and whining. We get on with things. We look for what needs to be done, and we do it.

So how can recognize this state in ourselves and others? The self responsible person initiates action, thinks through decisions, continuously questions and learns, they identify their values, and visions, they pursue their goals, they rebound after set-backs, they identify their resources, they make bold decisions and follow them through, they turn new learning into good habits, they make themselves accountable to others, they are great team players, they work with and through others, and are socially responsible. They allow others to hold them accountable, and they also hold themselves accountable.

Nathaniel Branden describes self-responsibility this way: “The essence of self-responsibility is the practice of making oneself the cause of the effects one wants, as contrasted with a policy of hoping or demanding that someone else - do something - while one’s own contribution is to wait and suffer. It is through independence and self-responsibility that we attain personal power.”

The incredible power of our marvellous mind

2010-02-03T19:59:00.000+11:00

I would like to share with you a true story. One that is as amazing as it is moving. It illustrates the incredible power we have to envisage the events we wish to see manifest in our life, and how we can shape our future. The ability of our mind to visualise our future and then create it is truly awesome.

Major James Nesmeth loved to play golf and for many years nurtured a dream to improve his game. Then at a particular and dramatic point in his life he developed a unique method for achieving his goal. Until he discovered this method he was just an average weekend golfer who usually scored in the mid to low nineties. But then, in tragic circumstances he was forced to stop playing and didn’t touch a golf club or step onto a golf course for seven years. Yet, amazingly when he played his first game after those seven years he shot seventy four. How did he improve so dramatically and drop twenty strokes?

It was during that seven year absence from golf that Major Nesmeth devised the successful technique that so dramatically improved his game. A technique so unique and yet so simple that we can all learn it. So what was his secret? It was the process of mental imagery called visualisation. Major Nesmith was for seven years incarcerated in a prisoner-of-war camp. During those torturous years he was imprisoned in a cage that could have crushed the spirit of a lesser man. It was too small for him to stand erect and when he stretched his arms he could touch both sides of the cage.

During those long and lonely years he spoke to no one in his own language and he had no opportunity to participate in any physical activity or to exercise in any way. During the first few months, when his spirits were at their lowest ebb, he did virtually nothing but hope and pray for his release. He then realised that he must find a way to keep his mind focused and functioning or he would certainly lose his sanity and probably his life. He would surely die within a short period of time; and that’s when he began to visualise.

In his mind he selected his favourite golf course and played the entire eighteen holes in his imagination. He experienced the game in absolute fine detail. He walked the course dressed in the clothes he wore when he played. He smelled the air and the fragrance of the trees and the fresh cut grass. He imagined the various weather conditions in which he played. The crisp air of an early autumn day. The overcast sky and cold bracing weather of winter. The fresh breeze of a spring morning. The dry burning heat of summer. He saw and heard the birds sing. In his imagination he saw the tee off area, the fairways, the greens the bunkers and the rough in such detail that the golf course was totally real to him.

He imagined pulling on his glove and taking his driver out of the bag and he rehearsed how he would swing and strike the ball and follow through. He felt the grip and balance as he addressed the ball and teed off. He heard the ball come sweetly of the tee and watched it arc down the exact centre of the fairway, bounce twice, roll and come to rest on the exact spot he had selected. Because he was in no hurry he experienced every step as he mentally walked to the ball just the same way as if he were doing it physically. That way it took the same amount of time to play the game in his mind as it took to play it physically in the real world. He played in his imagination with the same detail as he would if he were to experience it in life. He didn’t ever miss a shot, or hook or slice a ball.

And he did this for four hours a day, seven days a week, every week for seven years. In total he played two thousand five hundred and fifty five perfect games of golf in his mind. And when he played his first real game after being released he shot seventy four.

Did you make a resolution to change you life?

2010-01-27T20:54:00.000+11:00

About this time each year up to ninety five percent of the people who made new years resolutions have already abandoned them and many are rationalising why that is so. They are making excuses like: The timing isn’t right. The economy isn’t in my favour. I don’t have time. I didn’t get the support I expected to. It doesn’t really matter if I succeed this week, this month, this year, or at some other time.

Our monkey minds are ‘chattering’ away with a thousand excuses, reasons, and rationalisations about why we quit, why we didn’t follow through, why we didn’t persevere. But that’s normal because every time we strive for a new achievement we disturb our mental ‘homeostasis’ and it wants to return to normal. Just like a thermostat in an air conditioning system which is set to keep a constant comfortable temperature our homeostasis is set to keep us comfortable. Whenever we try to achieve a new goal we step outside our comfort zone and suddenly we become very uncomfortable. This is a normal reaction.

So what should we do? Put our life on hold, leave it for another year and try again? Or engage in some reflection and critical thinking about why we didn’t follow through and then re-engage our resolution, and take another run at it. There are many reasons we don’t follow through on our resolutions and three of the most common include, lack of concentration, lack of confidence, and lack of commitment.

1. Concentration is the ability to really focus on any goal with intensity and engage all our senses to see-feel-hear the outcome we want. We must do this from a fully associated state and put ourselves in the picture, see our success through our own eyes, feel the joy of achievement, hear ourselves and others who are supportive of us making positive comments and offering congratulations for our success.

Three times a day; as we awake, again at midday, and again when we drift off to sleep we should review and rehearse our goals in our mind as if they are reality. Our subconscious mind works on that last waking thought six times more as we sleep through the night.

2. Confidence is a fragile flower because external circumstances can have an affect on our confidence however ultimately we control our life. Whenever we chose to feel confident that emotion provides and powers the sense of certainty that ensures we persevere and persist until we achieve our goal.
Our identity is not limited by our failures, however having a positive mind-set and expecting to achieve our goals vastly increases the odds of becoming successful. It helps us to continually improve and in turn increases our self-confidence. This leads to positive self-expectancy, and leads to more achievement and the positive upward cycle continues. It becomes both an uplifting and self-fulfilling prophecy.

3. Commitment is the determination to stay the course until the goal is achieved and is what sets the high performers apart. Making a deep commitment means committing to the result we require and then burning our bridges against any other possibility. Every time we keep a commitment to ourselves, small or large, we increase our self-confidence. We build our mental strength. We enhance and enlarge our capacity to make and to keep even greater commitments.

Ken Blanchard expresses it this way: “There is a vast difference between interest and commitment. When you’re interested in doing something, you do it when it’s convenient. However when you are committed to something you accept no excuses. You only accept results.”

The importance of identifying our purpose in life

2010-01-20T17:40:00.000+11:00

Out walking one day a woman came across a tradesman splitting and shaping blocks of granite and asked: What are you doing? Annoyed at the interruption the man quickly replied ‘I am cutting these stones into building blocks’. The woman walked a little further and saw another man engaged in the same task and asked him the same question. ‘Why, he replied, I am helping to create this magnificent building you see behind me’. One man was simply cutting stone the other was committed to a purpose.

What is purpose? According to author Linda Marks: “Purpose is our natural way of being in the world. It’s about following our heart, and doing the things that really matter to us. When we do that we are living from our personal purpose. Purpose asks us to be true to ourselves as we live our life and explore what’s meaningful. Purpose reminds us that life is a journey, a process; and that our understanding of who we are and who we can yet become is constantly unfolding. Purpose provides a sense of direction, of constancy and continuity. Purpose enables us to create ways of living and working that are fulfilling and sustainable. Our purpose becomes a screen through which we filter our choices and activities and a foundation on which to build our future.”

Knowing our true purpose in life exponentially increases our power and effectiveness because it connects us to our higher motives, just like with the second stonecutter. The more we work with these higher motives the more the world works with us. Each of us is born with our dominant purpose lying dormant within us; it is something that only we can do, something that only we can contribute to the world. Identifying, acknowledging, and honouring this unique purpose is perhaps the most important action we engage in. I encourage you to take the time to understand what you are here to do - and then pursue that purpose with passion and enthusiasm.

Discovering and then being able to clearly state our purpose provides the foundation for our values and vision and for developing a fully effective life. When we define our purpose we build a framework within which we can interpret our world. Discovering our purpose is a little like cutting a raw diamond. Every gem-quality diamond is unique, no two are identical and each has within it a ready made design waiting to be discovered. The key is to identify the intrinsic pattern that is already there and then cut the diamond according to that pattern. Carefully cutting and bevelling and polishing all the facets to reveal the ‘true’ stone in all its brilliance.

How can we identify our purpose? Reflecting and writing responses to these questions will create clarity:
What are my special skills and talents?
What one thing can I contribute to others?
What am I here on this earth to accomplish?
What would I do if I knew that I could not fail?

And to conclude here is a wonderful thought from Michel de Montaigne: “The great and glorious masterpiece of man is to live with purpose.”

Embracing empowering beliefs energises your life

2010-01-13T21:27:00.000+11:00

A young man often had the same terrifying dream. In this dream he screamed as he ran and ran to escape a ferocious lion that chased him. Eventually the man collapsed from exhaustion, and then awoke.

Eventually he told a friend about his frightening dream. Assuming the lion symbolised something fearful in his life, the friend suggested that perhaps it represented an event from his past, and gave him this advice: The next time he had the dream, he should not try to run from the lion. Instead, he should stand firm, face the lion and ask who or what he represents; and why he appears in his dream?

Before long the man had the dream again. He trembled in fear as the lion approached, roaring, shaking its massive head and baring its dagger like teeth. Standing his ground this time, the man asked, ‘Who are you?’ ‘What do you want?’ The lion replied, ‘I am your courage and your strength! Why do you continue to run away from me?

Like the man in the dream many people live in a state of fear. And like the man in the dream when we face our fears they are most often proven to be baseless. What causes fear and often holds us back from all we can become in life are the beliefs we have adopted concerning who we are, and what is possible for us. These are referred to as self-limiting beliefs. The three most common being hopelessness, helplessness and worthlessness and they influence and shape the way we live our life.

Hopelessness is the emotion we feel when we don’t believe a particular outcome or goal is achievable. We have adopted the belief that no matter what we do it won't make a difference, so why try. What I want isn’t possible for me. It's out of my reach or my control.

Helplessness is the emotion we feel when, even though we believe something is possible, we don’t believe it’s possible for us. This can result in a sense that: It's possible for others to achieve this goal but not me. I'm not good enough or capable enough to accomplish it.

Worthlessness is the emotion we feel when, even though we may believe that a goal is possible and we have the skill to achieve it, we somehow believe we don’t deserve it. It’s often accompanied by a sense of; I’m not worthy. I don't deserve to be happy. There’s something basically and fundamentally wrong with me and I can’t be successful.

These three states are simply emotions, and reactions to beliefs we have adopted. They are not facts. And like all beliefs they can be loosened and changed by simply adopting other more empowering beliefs. As a belief grows it solidifies through the focusing of our consciousness and we then have fewer questions and fewer doubts. Then we feel sure, we feel convinced. And the reverse happens when we experience the undoing of a belief. We experience those stages in reverse. We begin questioning, we have some confusion, then doubts, and we become more and more unsure. Once installed, a belief filters out everything that doesn’t fit with it. We could therefore say that beliefs are blind. They function above and beyond our everyday thinking. They control, monitor, modulate and organise our life. In fact we interpret the world according to our beliefs.

Anthony Robbins states it this way: “Empowering beliefs are the compass, and the maps that guide us toward our goals. And give us the surety to know we’ll get there. Without empowering beliefs or the ability to tap into them, people can be totally disempowered. With powerful guiding beliefs, you have the power to take action and create the world you want to live in. Empowering beliefs help you see what you want and energise you to get it.”

Language for living a more effective life

2010-01-05T19:16:00.000+11:00

A feature of language, no matter what tongue we speak, lies in its inherent presuppositions. These are statements which are not necessarily true, but held as if they were true, and used as assumptions. As such they strongly influence our behaviour and responses. This is so, irrespective of our country, culture or creed. By acting as if these presupposition are true, amazing results can be achieved. The reason we adopt and use presuppositions is to enable us to extend ourselves and identify and act on opportunities.

1. Every behaviour; both ours and the behaviour of others has a positive intent. People act out of their ‘concerns’ and even what may seem like the most negative behaviour is done with a purpose. This is a useful assumption when dealing with others, as it enables us to consider why people behave as they do, to explore what may be their real needs, and possibly, to seek alternative ways of meeting those needs.

2. We individually have all the resources we need. All people have within them a vast reservoir of abilities and attributes; so our achievements are more about what we bring to any situation than about the external elements. Experience has structure. There are patterns to how we think about and organise our experience and, if we change these patterns and behaviours then our experience changes with it.

3. If something is possible for one person it is possible for everyone. If something can be done by one person then, potentially, everyone could do the same thing given similar or the same resources. This presupposition is helpful as a means of encouraging someone to extend their performance beyond what they may have previously believed possible. Allowing them to set and seek new goals and achievements.

4. Flexibility is the key to effectiveness. If what we are doing is not working, then we should modify our behaviour. We should then vary our approach and our actions until we achieve the results we want. If we do so then we are more likely to be effective than if we continue with behaviour that isn’t getting us where we wish to go. Insanity is defined as doing the same thing yet expecting different results.

5. People work perfectly. Instead of thinking about others as in need of ‘fixing’ because they don’t do what seems to be appropriate, conventional, or effective, it is better to think of them as being extremely effective at creating certain results, even if those results may not be the ‘best’ in the circumstances.

6. The map is not the territory. People’s perceptions are subjective. What we each perceive is selective and not a complete, or necessarily true, account of reality. We each see and respond according to our own selectively filtered ‘maps’ of the world. Helping someone identify their maps, understand why they may have adopted them, then create maps that better serve them leads to profound personal change.

7. The mind and body are one system. What we do with our mind and body is linked. For instance when we adopt a particular posture this can lead to us experiencing a particular emotion; similarly a positive thought will trigger a positive emotion that will then affect our physiology.

8. There is no failure, only feedback. If we do not achieve what we set out to achieve, we have not failed. We have however received useful feedback that will help us succeed in future endeavours.

9. We do the best we can at any given time. Although, with hindsight we may wish we had made different choices and taken different actions, we can only make the best choice consistent with what we understand at that time. Our decisions are simply based on our knowledge at any one point in time.

Coaching to overcome the invisble barriers in life

2009-12-16T18:26:00.000+11:00

Have you ever made a decision to achieve a certain goal and then; nothing changed? If so, you share that experience with ninety percent of people, the other ten percent have a coach, a mentor, or other wise counsel who prods, provokes, and provides endless encouragement. By the way; the reason we don’t follow through on our decisions is often due to our internal thermostat, known as our reticular activating system, being set to maintain the status quo. It won’t allow us to change until we reset it. Working with a skilled coach is one effective way of resetting it.

Coaching can be a life changing experience for many people. The term coach comes from an old English word ‘coche’ which means a wagon or carriage. A coach is literally a vehicle which transports a person from some starting point to their destination. The notion of coaching is derived from the concept that a coach conveys a student to a fuller understanding of a particular subject or issue. Issues such as helping the coachee to identify their purpose and meaning in life, to setting and achieving goals, to identifying barriers to performance, and enabling the living of a balanced life, are central to the coaching process.

The traditional view of coaching is to: train intensively by instruction and demonstration. Historically coaching has been about achieving improvement in a specific behaviour. An effective coach observes a person’s behaviour and prompts refection about how they can improve in specific situations. This involves giving effective feedback to help shape and develop the person’s performance. Personal coaching can prove more effective and more powerful than any other method of learning and development because an insightful coach can cause a coachee to reflect and internalize lessons from both good and poor experiences.

A coach can cause the coachee to hold themselves accountable as they pursue a goal or commence a new venture and help them to stay focused and follow through. An insightful coach and a motivated coachee can together create immediate and measurable results. Effective coaches realize that people inherently have all the resources needed to succeed; they only have to recognize and strengthen those resources to create the very best success strategies. This is done through experiential learning where each individual finds his or her way of doing their very best. Coaching another person is a great honour and is mostly a matter of creating the learning environment within which the coachee can develop.

Coaching is conversational and can also be controversial because the coach’s role is to provoke critical thinking and reflection which in turn causes significant shifts in perception, shifts that ultimately lead to profound personal change. And to do that within a respectful and safe and supportive environment that encourages the coachee to grow and evolve and to make substantial shifts in perception. One of the essential roles of an effective coach is to support the development of constructive change. Many times our existing interpretations have generated a meaning about the world that is restrictive and acts like a prison, limiting both possibilities and potential. Personal coaches are not for the meek. They’re for people who value clear feedback. If successful coaches have one thing in common, it’s that they are ruthlessly results oriented on behalf of their client.

Finally a coaching session is not a forum for the coach to display their superior knowledge but one built on trust and designed to enable and empower the coachee to resolve specific issues and develop the confidence to move forward, and perceive better ways of participating in life. A skilful coach is able to develop a sound understanding about what aspects of their clients way of operating in the world is generating an unhelpful reality, and support them to develop a more constructive reality, leading to positive change. I like this quote from Andy Stanley: “You will never maximise your potential in any area of life without coaching. It is impossible. You may be good. You may even be better than everyone else. But without outside input you will never be as good as you can be. We simply do it better when someone else is watching and evaluating.”

How to create more abundance in your life.

2009-12-09T21:57:00.000+11:00

My dictionary defines abundance as: plentiful, a great quantity, a measure considered to be more than enough. Many people think of abundance in terms of wealth and while that’s one legitimate response, it’s not the only measure of abundance. We can also think about abundance in terms of relationships, love, health, talent, spirituality, and opportunity just to name a few. And I’m wondering if you have a personal program to develop and experience more abundance in every area of your life: The following steps will help you install an ‘abundance’ state of mind.

1. First think and reflect about what abundance means to you. Identify the beliefs, values, and states that represent abundance for you. What personal beliefs do you hold that support this state of abundance? Beliefs about yourself, other people, about the world, and your way of interacting and collaborating with others. Your personal values; beliefs about your identity, and any other frames of reference? What pictures, sounds, and sensations are present as you think about abundance?

2. Then create a virtual movie in your mind about what you would see, hear, feel, and say as you move through the world operating from a position of abundance. Make this representation as vivid, as dramatic, and as compelling as possible. As you reflect about what abundance is all about for you access a state of high self-esteem. First fully create a strong sense of self-value, and dignity totally independent of your behaviours, one that’s totally unconditional. Adopt the frame of mind that; ‘my self esteem is a given’ as this will help you avoid slipping into a state of self absorption.

3. Contrast your abundance frame of mind with the opposite frame, that of scarcity. Note how you think about and represent scarcity, and compare that to your representations of abundance. Reflect about any scarcity thoughts you may have, and then literally push them further away and turn the volume and intensity down and de-energize them. Let the pictures fade; let the sounds be further away and quieter.

4. Now in your mind fully step into the picture you have about abundance. Imagine using this as your way of thinking, feeling and acting every day as you move through the world. Visualize future events and scenarios; things that are likely to happen tomorrow, next week, next month, and work your way through various situations including your work, your personal relationships, and your recreational pursuits. Check for any objections you may have to adopting an abundance framework for your life. If you sense any objections, counter them by establishing some higher purpose that effectively allows the installation of the abundance framework in your mind. Treat every objection as both legitimate and important. Inquire of that part of your mind that doesn’t want to release scarcity about why it is fearful or concerned. Then respond appropriately.

One way to adopt an abundance mentality is to embrace this way of thinking for a week or a month and then check to see what changes have occurred. Grant yourself permission to fully accept and commit to living more abundantly. It isn’t enough to have strong beliefs, we must also feel passionate about those beliefs so that they excite and empower us. Imagine the impact his way of thinking will make in the days and weeks to come; and notice how it changes things. Imagine how it can transform your relationships, your health, and your work. It's not then enough to eliminate disempowering beliefs. They must be replaced with more empowering beliefs. And it’s not enough to have empowering beliefs. Those beliefs need to be embedded in some really great emotions so that they have real punch, pizzazz, and passion. We don't need scarcity beliefs, but we do need abundance beliefs. Beliefs that will provide us with the power to better live the life of our dreams!

The guardian at the gateway to your mind

2009-12-02T20:42:00.000+11:00

There is a guardian standing guard at the gateway to your mind? It’s called your reticular activating system or RAS, which is the scientific term for a network of nerve pathways situated at the base of your brain that connects the spinal cord, cerebellum, and cerebrum, and acts as a filter for all the sensory input your brain draws from your external world. Reticular, from the Latin word for ‘little net’ simply means a netlike structure. Everything you see, hear, touch, taste, or smell passes through this fine network, which then relays the signal to the appropriate part of your brain for processing.

Your reticular formation stands guard at the gateway of your mind, sorting the absolute avalanche of incoming information and searching for those specific bits that best match the information patterns already established in your brain. Your RAS filters all the sensory input from your environment and, whenever something is important to you, sends a signal to your conscious brain to alert you. And it does this at a speed eight hundred times faster than your conscious brain cells operate.

You can think of this system as something like Google. When you type a word or search string into Google, it scours the internet for everything it can find that relates to that specific phrase, retrieves it and presents it to you, and it does this in a matter of seconds. Your reticular formation does much the same thing but does its work in thousandths of a second. Your RAS works so rapidly and efficiently, it makes Google seem like its carving a stone tablet. Here is the important thing. Just as with Google you can enter whatever search string you want it to search for. When you program a specific belief or idea, or goal, into your RAS, no matter if you are asleep or awake, thinking about it or not, it will do its job, and sift the entire ocean of information swirling about you at all times to find precisely what you’ve told it to find, picking out that one crucial bit of data and editing out all other irrelevant data.

Nothing gets past unless your RAS gives permission. It will allow anything that matches your dominant thoughts and beliefs. This permission happens without your conscious involvement because it happens at a nonconscious level. It will allow input that is positive or negative, uplifting or degrading, that which is to your benefit or to your detriment, that which is positive or that which is negative, depending on how you have programmed it through your thinking. Whatever is important to you it allows.

The inherent danger for us whenever a failure or disappointment occurs in life is that we can identify with it too closely, and therefore mistake the failure for ourselves. That can lead to adopting a mindset of ‘I failed therefore I am a failure’ and that dominant thought attracts further failure images and messages. Our RAS obliges by allowing in everything that fits that belief and dominant thought. In other words whenever we identify ourselves with failure or disappointment we perpetuate that mindset.

It is better to forget the failure and focus on future success. That mindset will attract positive images and messages. Never label lack of success as failure, simply learn from it and be grateful for the lesson the set back provides, and keep you RAS set for success. So we know that your RAS is not your master, just the opposite it is your servant and only allows in that which you have programmed it to allow. And whenever you decide to change it’s simple to do so. Just change what you think about, change your dominant thoughts. Because in life you eventually attract what you think about most of the time.

There is no failure in life there is only feedback

2009-11-25T17:42:00.000+11:00

A core presupposition in the neuroscience field is that there is no failure, there is only feedback. Another variation on that theme is that there are no mistakes; there are only outcomes. If that is the case we should accept and embrace our so called failures and mistakes and mine them for the learning they contain. We should also be aware that our setbacks and successes are simply two sides of the one coin.

The implication here is that the results we get when we attempt to reach our various goals in life may be interpreted in different ways. And so long as we are committed to learning and growing from each experience it doesn’t matter what a particular short term outcome may be because course correction is simply a normal part of what it is to be human. Depending upon the particular goal, it may require more effort or different actions to accomplish it. In many instances, our ultimate long term success is not a function of immediate results; it is a result of many short well focused sprints and an ongoing feedback loop of learning. And sometimes we may need to try something we suspect may not work in order to get the feedback necessary to progress further along the path.

So why is it that so many people adopt a sense of ‘failure’ if a particular action doesn’t work out? I am of the mind that it’s the result of our culture which seems to be more and more about the need for instant gratification. In my own case one of the online projects I am developing hasn’t ‘gone viral’ as rapidly as I had hoped, but that’s not a justification to quit. It rather is a test bed for learning and ongoing personal and professional development. If this way isn’t producing results, let’s try this way. One thing I have learned in life is that quitting isn’t an option. Because if we quit once it is then more likely that we will quit again and any behaviour that is continuously reinforced eventually becomes a conditioned aspect of our human experience.

One way we can approach this issue of failure is to give ourselves permission to fail. In fact if f we don’t allow ourselves to fail, failure becomes more and more loaded with meaning. This prevents it from being part of our learning process, the trial and error learning we used as children when we first began to make our way in the world. It prevents failing from being part of the feedback process so vital to help us to refine our performance and eventually succeed. Suddenly failure becomes so loaded with emotion; our fear of it prevents us from succeeding. Giving ourselves permission to fail sidesteps any concern we might otherwise feel about performance. When we allow this, we don’t fail. It releases us from the fear of failure. If we don’t allow ourselves to make mistakes, we will live a life that’s bland and grey. Acceptable risks can lead to incredible results. An amazing life can unfold if you allow it.

Another way to ensure we achieve this amazing life of our imagination is to engage and stay engaged in the process of setting and striving for worthwhile goals. When we set, and emotionally engage with positive goals that challenge us and stretch us we perform at the top of our game, and we create the preconditions for our energies to flow more powerfully and that fact alone energises and focuses our nonconscious mind towards achievement. So, accepting that we have all ‘failed’ at some point in life we should not adopt a failure mentality.

The first rule for turning things around and attaining success is to be clear about our goals, and the specific things we are working on right now. In fact, it might be helpful to complete the following checklist and to take action on it: Are your goals committed to writing? Are your personal and professional goals positive; that is based on moving towards pleasure or away from pain? Do you have clear personal rewards tied to your goals? Are those rewards non-negotiable? Have you surrounded yourself with images of your reward? Have you shared your goals and rewards with your inner circle?

Three key qualities for your journey through life

2009-11-20T00:03:00.000+11:00

Have you ever thought about what qualities you want to develop as you take the journey of life? Here are three qualities that will serve you well.

Daring is one quality - You don’t want to look back at some point in life and say; if only! I can recall at least six occasions in my life where I was offered opportunities that were far beyond my then skill and experience. It would have been an easy call to refuse. However I had early in life adopted the mindset of always saying YES to any opportunity. And reflecting on those twists and turns along the pathway of life they all were successful, Each daring step mentally equipped me for the next great adventure even though I was really stretched on many occasions. Often it is fear ’false evidence appearing real’ that causes us to hesitate, to draw back. However it doesn’t serve us well to be that way. So whenever an opportunity comes your way, say yes: Say yes to your unlimited potential.

Determination is another - This quote by Dewey Tobias sums it up, “Everyone loves results, but few people have the determination to fall in love with the effort.” That, to me is the real difference between those who succeed and those who don’t. You have to fall in love with the effort. It has to come first, and then results will follow. If there is one quality that is common to all great achievers in this world it is determination. Roger Bannister the first man to run the mile in under four minutes knew the power of determination. In a time when no-one believed it was physically possible for a man to run a sub four minute mile Bannister put in place a training program to accomplish it. He revealed in an interview after claiming the record that his regimen included running for six hours a day, every day, for eight years.

Discipline is yet another - Self-disciple is something that many wrestle with. Even though we know we should do what needs to be done whether we feel like doing it, or not. Success in any endeavour requires daily discipline to create and generate momentum; it’s easier to keep doing something than it is to start over again. We can’t separate discipline and desire. If our desire is strong enough, if it is burning within and the flames are licking at our emotions, and we really want to achieve a particular goal then discipline can be developed. Keep your attention firmly fixed on the goal and it will come more naturally.
When you embrace these three qualities: daring, determination and discipline you will over time achieve and become successful. Then your great challenge and legacy is to pass the baton of knowledge and leadership on to others. And isn’t that what this amazing life is all about? Personally learning and growing and then helping others to learn and grow, so they in turn can help others to learn and grow, so they… you get the point.

Here’s what you could now do, pass this article on to five others, with a request they pass it to five others so we encourage many more people to embrace the challenge to adopt the qualities of daring, determination and discipline. As a result we will grow and develop more success and hopefully wisdom along the way and most importantly we will leave a legacy.

Finally please identify times in your life when you have embraced and embodied the three qualities we have discussed… daring, discipline and determination. What did it feel like? What were the outcomes? What would the result be if you always acted that way?

Creating a world to which others want to belong

2009-11-11T20:43:00.000+11:00

Leadership, the need for it, the lack of it, and exactly what it is, and is not is probably one of the subjects most spoken of and written about globally. It’s widely recognized that today our fast moving vibrant societies cannot work effectively and efficiently without great leadership. Leadership however is a rare commodity in all fields of human endeavour, the arts, business, politics, religion, science or sports. We need effective leaders in all spheres and at all levels to provide direction, inspire others and encourage us to give of our best.

A true leader is someone who guides the way into an imagined future. And a leader must have well defined values with the principle ones being honesty and responsibility. A leader is not someone with a defined skill-set but rather someone with a defined mind-set, a set of values that guide them every day in every situation because leadership is about valuing and validating others and influencing them to create personal change. It is also the art of getting things done through others, first by engaging them, and then by energizing them.

A true leader engages others. One of the most important attributes is the ability to paint a compelling picture of a proposed future, to create through the artful use of language a world to which others want to belong. Leadership isn’t about personal fame or glory; it’s about adding value, enriching and serving others while being true to a personal and organizational vision. Leaders communicate best with language that speaks to the needs, emotions, hopes, and dreams of others, and therefore one of the important aspects of effective leadership is the congruence between the messenger and the message.

A true leader energizes others. They serve the best interests of others and in doing so they are not always popular. But because true leaders are motivated by concern rather than a desire for personal glory, they are willing to pay the price. Leadership is all about creating possibilities for others within a supportive and affirming environment where people feel they are valued and empowered to achieve.

A true leader continually learns. Leaders must be committed to personal and professional development, to continually learn and grow. To develop ever sharper insights into circumstances and processes that will allow them to achieve the goals they are seeking. Most people learn by accident, someone says to take this course, read this article, and therefore learning becomes a random event. In life we are either mentally striving or settling and a true leader decides to only learn on purpose. They discern what is missing in them and for others and actively seek out the best information.

The need for visionary servant leadership in today’s ever changing society cannot be over-emphasized. I believe true leaders are developed not born and I wonder if that’s how you view things too. Finally a great leader is one who has thought long and hard about who they are and what they believe. Therefore that allows them to be their authentic self, and in the process help others find their best self.

Three questions you may wish to reflect on: What great dream would you like to lead others to accomplish? To achieve that dream who must you become? What can you do now to become that person?

Is it possible to reinvent yourself in trying times?

2009-11-04T17:56:00.000+11:00

“Are we there yet?” Anyone who has taken a long road trip with young children has heard that question from the back seat often. It’s also been the constant question from those in the media, and the finance sector, from investors, business owners, and the public asking if the worldwide economy have bottomed out and is beginning to rise. According to the experts the answer is the same as the one you give your children “Not quite yet, but soon.” We are still suffering from motion sickness because employers and employees have been punished twice, first by the initial sharp shock of the global financial crisis, then by the worldwide credit crunch.

Our world and the world economy will never be quite the same. Some say we are witnessing a complete melt-down of the conventional business model and that the millions of the jobs that have been shed around the world will never come back, at least in there present form. This economic tsunami has impacted and reshaped the economic landscape as surely as a real tsunami impacts and reshapes the physical landscape. It has swept away the traditional ways in which people work and caused many to re-examine their life and to reinvent themselves yet again.

The good news is that opportunity still abounds. Work practices may change and evolve but the work will still need doing, but perhaps by different people who work in different ways. Instead of an abundance of jobs there will be an abundance of opportunity and of necessity more flexible ways of working. However these jobs probably won’t come with the same range of employee benefits, perks or paid vacations. The contractor and the home based business entrepreneur will flourish, but those who want a career, or a job as a safe haven may perish. Millions of people who bought into the old belief; give us your life and we will give you a good salary and a dignified retirement, have been burned. Those that haven’t are facing retirement in reduced circumstances. For many people the future isn’t promising.

However economic downturns also create once in a generation opportunities. Opportunity always abounds in disaster. Here’s my take on it. If you are currently employed you need a second option, a plan B. If you are self-employed you need a plan B. If you own a small business you need a plan B. How and where can we find a viable plan B? Ideally one where you can make a smooth transition while disengaging from your current situation. The key to identifying a viable option is to explore the intersection between your passion and your skills. One solution may be to seek an opportunity to create consistent income by carving out a niche related to your unique skills and innovative ideas. My experience is that when you provide value, the world, in particular the on-line village will find you.

If you’re seeking to reinvent yourself, to create a new opportunity remember that people will always spend money to either avoid pain or to obtain pleasure, they will also spend to save time, and to make money. Not all business concepts are capital intensive, and many don’t require an army of employees or significant physical infrastructure. The big challenge is to present ourselves such that we ‘show up’ as a strong offer, as one who delivers value. Promising opportunities can reveal themselves through natural selection, or by trial and error, similar to ‘stumbling forward’ - but with intent. So as we move out of this current crisis perhaps this is just the time to reinvent yourself, to forge a new and different path, to create a way of working and living that provides meaning and money, plus an abundant balanced life?

And the last word this week is from author and business philosopher Jim Rohn - “Profits are better than wages; wages can make you a living but profits can make you a fortune.”

Distinguishing between assessments and assertions

2009-10-29T17:24:00.000+11:00

When I was in fourth grade I attended a school in a small country town. One day the physical education teacher was selecting students to participate in various sports events in preparation for an athletics day. I really wanted to compete in the running events, and I remember putting up my hand and saying; pick me, pick me. The teacher responded, saying: No, not you, because you can’t run fast enough. I was shocked because up until then I thought that I ran as fast as most everyone else in my class. But that day I accepted the assessment of the teacher, and as a result I’ve never since attempted to run in a race.

Whether his assessment about my running ability was true or false isn’t important. What’s important is that because I accepted it as true, that day it created for me a new reality; I can’t run fast! We all hold core assessments both positive and negative and these core assessments can be about any and every aspect of life. The key issue is: What possibilities do these assessments create? And what damage do they cause?

Just what are assessments? They are judgements or opinions we have about ourselves, about other people, and about events, things, or circumstances. In fact human beings can be described as ‘walking sets of assessments’ because we constantly make assessments about everything. They are like stepping stones towards the future, because they virtually shape our reality and we cannot, not make them. They are a valuable and important aspect of language and they run as auditory messages in the background of our life. They can be true or untrue and it is vital to ‘ground’ or to substantiate our assessments and those of other people.

Assertions are yet another linguistic act. Assertions are statements about what we observe and they could be thought of as facts. However we don’t know how things really are, we only know how we observe them. Assertions can be categorized as true or false, according to accepted evidence by a particular group or community at a particular time, or they can be considered as pending. That is, pending acceptable evidence. For instance ‘It’s going to rain tomorrow’ is a pending assertion. The statement ‘the world is flat’ was considered a true assertion until Christopher Columbus proved it otherwise. Now it would be considered by the vast majority of people to be false.

So when we are in conversation with other people how can we establish what is and what isn’t a fact? Here are some statements. In each group the first is an assertion and the second is an assessment:

‘Verging on Vegan’ is a vegetarian café. ‘Verging on Vegan’ serves wonderful food.
Apple is a computer company. Apple is an innovative company.
Mary was late twice this week. Mary is an unreliable person.

The first statement can be said to be true or false. The second statement is an opinion or interpretation about what we observe, it may be true or false but it must first be grounded or proved. The opinions and observations we hold are coloured by our: perceptions, our prejudices, and preferences, and also by our criteria and standards. So when we state assessments as facts or ‘the truth,’ we run the risk of diminishing the possibilities in our relationships and in life. I invite you to reflect on what assessments you may be holding as assertions, and how they may be limiting you.

Quality questions are key to developing a great life

2009-10-21T19:53:00.000+11:00

Profound personal change begins whenever we decide to shift our perspective and to observe things differently. Real choice about what we can change in our life begins when we become mindful enough to observe our thoughts, feelings and actions. As we journey through life things, good and not so good, happen to all of us all the time. We often don’t have much choice about what happens however we do have a choice about what we think, how we feel, and what we do as a result of what happens.

Certainly we all recognize that questions are a vital part of our day to day communication, but the role they play in our thinking is not always so obvious. Our thinking and the learning that occurs is a result of our internal question and answer process. Not only that but we often answer our own questions by taking some specific action. All actions are driven by internal questions. Questions that we may or may not be aware we are asking at the time. And whenever we change our questions we change our thinking and when we change our thinking, we change almost everything else. Changing our thinking is what makes it possible to effect sustainable change in life. Quality questions can literally change our life. Our thoughts set our intention and positive thoughts program us with positive intention.

The questions we ask ourselves, whether conscious or not, can either hinder or help us. They can lead us toward failure or success. By increasing the quantity and improving the quality of the questions we ask ourselves and others we can significantly improve any situation through the stimulation that occurs as a result. Great outcomes are the results of asking great questions. And the questions we consistently ask or don’t ask ourselves virtually program our behaviour and dictate the type and quality of outcomes we consider possible for us in life.

Questions also change the resources available to us. They open up new worlds because better questions produce better and more resourceful answers. If at first you don’t get the answer you want keep asking with an expectant attitude and perhaps reframe or expand the question. We have the incredible power of questions at our disposal every moment of the day. What we ask ourselves can shape our perception of; who we are, what we’re capable of, and what it is we’re willing to do to achieve our dreams. Appling the mental discipline to consciously control the questions we ask ourselves will progress us towards achieving a positive outcome than almost anything I know. The perceptions we have about the resources at our disposal are limited only by the positive questions we ask.

Here are some critical questions that can both cause reflection, and provoke profound personal change.

Are you willing to take responsibility for your thinking and the questions you ask yourself? And for the attitudes and actions that flow from your thinking? Are you willing to apply the daily discipline necessary to identify the effect on your life of the questions you ask yourself and others?

And finally from Anthony Robbins - “Questions set off a processional effect that has an impact beyond our imagination. Questioning our limitations is what tears down the walls in life. I believe all human progress is preceded by new questions.”

The pursuit of proficiency and personal mastery

2009-10-15T19:27:00.000+11:00

Like me, you probably know people who are considered to be masters in their particular field or domain. The essence of personal mastery is to attain an optimum level of proficiency. People who possess high levels of personal mastery are those committed to expand their ability to create extraordinary levels of proficiency in every aspect of life. Personal mastery is based on a person’s skill and competence but it extends far beyond that because it requires us to embrace emotional, intellectual and spiritual growth.

Mastery is attained by those who think differently and approach life differently from the normal person; in as much as they live and observe the world from an active rather than a reactive view. Those who seek mastery must acknowledge two distinctly different issues. The first; is to continually clarify what’s most important to them. The second; is to learn to view their current ‘reality’ more clearly. Sometimes as we journey through life it’s easy to loose sight of what’s really important. Mainly because we spend so much time dealing with the issues or problems of life along the path we are travelling; that we can loose sight of both the path and the endpoint.

Personal mastery is important to those who desire to move beyond competence and to create personal power, more freedom, peace of mind, and full self-expression. Consider what masters in any field can do that other’s can’t do; and then consider how the experience of life occurs to them. Masters do what to other people seems impossible, yet the master is not surprised by their performance. For them it is simply their expected self-expression.

The way in which a master views circumstances and life is what makes their performance possible, reliable, and consistently superior to that of others. They simply observe and make sense of their world differently. They think from the ‘principles’ of their particular field of endeavour and approach their work as a game that is worth their time and full attention. They also experience joy, passion, and intense pleasure in all they do.

To achieve mastery of any new belief and behaviour takes around thirty days. Thirty days of consistently applying mental conditioning techniques that will allow your nonconscious mind to absorb the new orientation. First you must create a clear written vision to clarify your goals. Next you will need to add a written declaration that will help create the beliefs you will need to adopt to support that vision. Then play that vision on the screen of our mind, like a living mental movie. Then create and apply emotional anchors based on past successful experiences that will add power and impact to your new beliefs. Then learn how to translate the new vision and affirmations into materials that will help reinforce the new beliefs and behaviours. Finally establish a daily routine to ensure the belief is imprinted into your nonconscious mind.

The most critical factor in creating personal mastery is harnessing the power of the nonconscious mind because it’s through our nonconscious mind that we create our future. The major distinguishing factor of those who exhibit high levels of personal mastery is that they have developed the integration of their conscious and nonconscious mind to a high degree. So how is this relevant to you? Simply that by committing yourself to embrace lifelong learning and then applying what you learn through consistent mental discipline and action you too can aspire to mastery in your profession, and also in life.

The importance of conversational effectiveness

2009-10-07T20:46:00.000+11:00

Organisations of all types and sizes can be described as being comprised of a ‘network’ of conversations and relationships, and therefore conversational effectiveness is a key competency for each one of us. One important way we can examine how well we work together in organisations is to explore the notion of conversational labour. Irrespective of our work, it is conducted in and through conversations, and therefore how we think, listen, and speak can be categorized as work. As the ‘technical work’ we do in organizations becomes ever more specialized and complex a crucial issue becomes how well we co-ordinate that work. The increased reliance of people on others to achieve results causes us to focus on the quality of our communication. And to become more productive and effective we must improve the quality of our observations, conversations, and relationships.

A decade ago around twenty five percent of all job functions could be described as those responsible for specialized technical work. Not only that, many of the roles that are now performed did not then exist. Today around seventy five percent of all work can be categorised as specialized technical work. This leads us to examine and appreciate the importance of our inter-dependence and inter-connection in the way we work, and how we coordinate the various roles and actions.

As you reflect on your role in your job, business, or profession here are several questions you may wish to respond to: 1. What are you accountable for? 2. How is it that you do what you do? 3. And how then do you do that? When you continue to ask and answer that last question: How do you do that? You inevitably end with: You listen to and talk to people! In other words you have conversations with people. Conversations can be categorised as both formal and informal, and they also occur one to one and in groups. We should add telephone calls, emails, and also phone and video conferencing because these are all conversations.

What percentage of your typical workday do you spend in conversation? Researchers have shown that up to eighty percent of all work can be categorised as conversational work. So to work effectively we spend much of our time communicating with others, and we know that speaking and listening are key factors for co-ordinating actions and achieving results. In this context I use conversation rather than communication. The word conversation is derived from the Latin ‘con-versare’ which can be said to mean…getting things done, or…changing together, or…bringing about improvement together.

Conversational quality is therefore a core competence for individuals and organisations. How well we speak and how well we listen has a direct effect on others and their response to us, because how well we listen in turn effects the quality of our speaking and our behaviour. And we should also consider the implications on our effectiveness of the continual conversations we are listening to, the conversations we have with ourselves in our minds. These are our on-going internal interpretations about what it is that’s being said. They could be described as us - listening to our listening.

The quality of our conversations has both a short and long term impact on both individual and organisational performance. So improving how well we speak and listen is fundamental to effective communication, and therefore a key competence for creating an effective life.

When you determine to persevere you will prevail

2009-09-30T19:54:00.000+10:00

Sir Winston Churchill England’s great wartime leader was as a child held back in eighth grade for three years because he couldn’t pass his English exams. It seems ironic that many years later in the twilight of his life, Oxford University asked him to give the address for its graduating class. He duly arrived complete with customary top hat, cane and cigar. As Churchill approached the podium, the crowd as one rose in appreciative applause. With consummate dignity he stood confidently before the crowd. Then removing his cigar and carefully placing the top hat on the podium, Churchill gazed out over the vast audience waiting on his words. Authority rang in Churchill’s voice as he loudly stated: Never give up! He looked out over the crowd for what seemed a long time before he rose to his toes and loudly repeated: Never give up! His words thundered in their ears, and there was a deafening silence as Churchill reached for his hat and cigar, steadied himself with his cane, and left the platform. His address concluded.

His was without doubt the shortest and most eloquent graduation address ever given. Those words should echo in our ears whenever challenges and difficulties come our way. And they will come our way because life is a continuous succession of problems, large and small. Like the waves of the ocean, they never stop. The only thing you can do is to control how you respond; positively or negatively, constructively or destructively? You can treat problems as stumbling blocks or stepping stones. Most people tend to quit when faced with a crisis. They give up and retreat to their comfort zone, and this tendency to quit when repeated becomes a conditioned response that creates a habit difficult to break.

But this is not a choice for you, because; if you are not dealing with problems you are missing a great opportunity for growth. I encourage you to view every problem, setback, or crisis as a ‘test’ with the purpose of teaching you something you need to know. So the first step is to overcome the problem, and then move on, and be more successful in the future. Every problem contains the kernel of a valuable lesson and a corresponding benefit. Sometimes life will keep sending you back through the revolving door until you learn that lesson. Decide now that no matter what happens to you that you will never give up. Decide to ‘bounce’ rather than ‘break’, keep on keeping on, until you eventually break through and succeed.

Whenever you are confronted by a problem, obstacle or roadblock, you should stop and consider ways to get around, under, over, or through the blockage. Even a small shift in thinking and behaviour will yield big results over time. It’s like navigating the seas of life in a ship, whenever you shift the steering just one percent you will arrive at a totally different destination. So brainstorm and identify at least three different possible strategies for handling the problem. There are many things that may work, but you will find them only if you spend time looking. Always seek new solutions and persevere until you find what works for you in the circumstances.

Mark Wieser has the final word this week: “The next time you are faced with an obstacle in life, instead of feeling blocked or discouraged try this: step back and look at it from a fresh angle. Ask yourself questions like: what can I do to overcome this? What is the potential good in this situation that is not readily apparent? What can I do differently so as not to be blocked like this again?”

Creating effective outcomes through language

2009-09-23T18:22:00.000+10:00

How can we increase the effectiveness of our conversations and use our speaking to create better outcomes? How we use language in conversation continually opens and closes possibilities for us in life. This is because language not only describes the world we observe, but it also creates the world we live in; because within the words we use are actions. The various basic linguistic acts inherent in language are called: Assertions, Declarations, with a subset called Assessments, and Commitments, which can include both Requests and Offers.

Studies have shown that linguistic acts are a key ingredient in conversation regardless of the language we speak. Using language we tell others how things are: ‘This is a critical situation…’ We try to get others to take action: ‘Could you assist me with…’ We commit ourselves to taking action: ‘I will assist you to…’ We express our feelings and attitudes: ‘When I don’t communicate clearly I become…’ We bring about changes in the world by what we say: ‘I will improve my performance this year by…’ We offer to do something for another: ‘Would you like me to assist you to…’ These ways of using language occur in everyday conversation. Let’s look more closely at Declarations.

Declarations are statements about ‘what will be’ from this time forwards. They carry a force that generates a new reality. They are expressions about the different circumstances in life that are made in the present and yet have a profound impact on the future. Some examples I can recall include: the voting deadlock following the US election in 2000 that was ruled on by the Supreme Court and delivered the Presidency to George W. Bush. The court ‘declared’ by a majority of five to four that Bush had won the State of Florida. Another is the declaration by the then President of the International Olympic Committee Juan Antonio Samaranch when he announced the awarding of the 2000 Olympic games. He ‘declared’ …and the winner is Sydney.

What gives a declaration its impact is not so much the individual making the declaration, but the social role they occupy. Examples of social roles include: Police and judges. Referees and coaches. Principles and teachers. Chairpersons and Chief Executives. A particular social group - a community, a city, or a country, vests specific authority in a particular role to perform certain tasks. The authority of a role can reside in an individual, or in a group, who may be elected or appointed, such as: Juries and tribunals. State and national parliaments, Boards of directors and boards of inquiry. And declarations can be considered valid or invalid according to the authority that the person or persons listening vest in the speaker.

And how is this relevant to us? How can we use declarations to create better outcomes and a different reality in our world? When we set goals and plans for our future we are making a declaration about how things will be, to ourselves and also to those around us. Here’s what Steve Zaffron and Dave Logan say:

“All generative action relies on speech acts; an action taken through language. The most fundamental of speech acts is a declaration, which brings a possible future into existence. A declared future is not a dream or a hope, but a future to which you commit yourself. Creating a new future makes you the author of your life in a way few people have ever imagined. Investing in yourself, putting yourself at risk, is essential to rewriting the future. We do this by committing, which is another speech act. We put everything we have at stake for the new future. Just as a default future isn’t certain, a created future isn’t a done deal either. What we invent is a possibility, to which we commit our entire being. When we realise that we have the power to declare and commit to a new future, the world occurs as a world that you control.”

For life to get better, we must first get better

2009-09-16T19:24:00.000+10:00

In the days when ships were powered by wind and sail, seamen feared entering an area of the ocean near the equator known as the doldrums. Once in the doldrums they could encounter calm waters and light wind or simply no wind at all. Sometimes a sailing ship would lie becalmed and helpless in the doldrums for weeks waiting for the wind to blow. Then either light unpredictable winds or sudden fierce squalls would blow and they could continue their journey.

People also get caught in the doldrums. Waiting for winds that they think will create the conditions where they can move forward in life. In the meantime just like the sailors of old, they become dispirited and uninspired. However unlike a sailing ship we need not wait for prevailing winds. Change and growth can come at any time that we decide to change our thinking, our beliefs and take action to remove ourselves from the doldrums.

Often one of the reasons people don’t take the time to improve their quality of life, is that they think things will somehow just get better. They live their life in hope that their job or business will somehow improve. They hope that some lucky combination of circumstances will come about and as a result, they will finally be recognised and rewarded. Unfortunately this isn’t how life works. How life works is; for things to get better, we must first get better. For things to improve, we must first improve. If we want to become more successful and happier in life, we must adopt a more effective approach.

The starting point of all change is in the mind, or more precisely, in how we think! Am I saying all we must do is improve the quality of our thoughts and we will improve the quality of our life? Yes! In fact, everything pivots around this fundamental truth. Success comes from results. Results come from actions. Actions come from thoughts. So, when we think more effectively, we take better actions, and produce better results. As you are the one who is responsible for your thoughts, you must decide how successful your life will be. It is always your responsibility, because only you have control of your mind.

Beliefs are magical things, they are at first thoughts and yet they are more than thoughts. Our beliefs comprise; how we come to know and understand things, give meaning to things, and create energy, emotions, and actions. Meaning doesn't exist out there in the world. Meaning exists only within the mind as we connect and link ideas with experiences. At birth, we have no beliefs. They develop as our perceptions, understandings and learning’s grow and become a form of focused awareness. Beliefs develop over time from our experiences. We construct them via the ideas, thoughts, feelings, and meanings that we develop about various concepts. Beliefs are very powerful, helping us to have a sense of certainty and direction in an unpredictable world.

So if we wish to get better we must start by developing better beliefs. And you can chose to change any one you want to by first identifying a limiting belief, and then creating a new counter-belief that better supports you. Then become willing to let go of the old belief, and adopt the new. Simply accept any resistance, and then repeat the process until you can state the new belief congruently. Manifesting your dreams and desires into reality does not depend on your education, your ethnicity, your cultural heritage, or your current environment. It is solely the result of how you think and what you believe. One of the most important beliefs we can adopt is that in order to succeed and be happy we should be constantly improving the quality of our lives, by constantly growing and expanding our thinking.

The last word is from Anthony Robbins: “Success or failure begins with belief. Whether you believe you can do something, or believe you can’t, you’re right. Even if you have the skills and resources to do something, once you tell yourself you can’t, you shut down the neurological pathways that can make it happen. If you tell yourself you can do something, you open up the pathways that can provide you with the resources for achievement.”

The enemies and allies of learning and change

2009-09-09T16:06:00.000+10:00

A young man approached Socrates the great philosopher and sage and pleaded that he accept him as a student. Socrates responded by asking the young man to walk with him along the bank of a river and then beckoned him to enter the water with him. Suddenly Socrates grasped the young man and forced his head under water. He struggled frantically to free himself but Socrates held him tightly and kept him submerged. Finally, the young man became exhausted so Socrates released him and then asked: When you thought you were drowning what one thing did you want most of all? Still gasping he exclaimed: I wanted air! Socrates smiled and said: When you want knowledge as much as you wanted air, then you will get it!

The lesson for us is that to learn and change we must be committed. How we approach learning inevitably shapes what we understand to be possible in dealing with the difficulties that confront us in life. Being a committed learner is central to developing what the Dalai Lama calls a flexible or pliant mode of thinking. How each of us operates as a learner inevitably shapes what we see to be possible when dealing with difficulties that may confront us.

One way to discern how we approach learning is to consider any unintentional blockages we may have. These enemies of learning often occur as our silent statements and judgements. They may include an inability to acknowledge our ignorance or admit that someone else may know. Or we may be unwilling to allow others the permission, or authority to teach us. Sometimes it is self-doubt about our ability to learn and change, or perhaps being trapped in a mood of anxiety, or of resignation, or of resentment. Knowing and acknowledging our enemies of learning is the first step in moving beyond them.

Another key step is to identify and develop our allies of learning. These include humility, which enables us to acknowledge our ignorance and to grant ourselves permission to learn from another. Courage, so we allow ourselves to be open to new, and sometimes difficult areas of learning or to different methods of learning. Also, developing a constructive frame of mind along with a way of being that incorporates curiosity, wonder, humour, lightness and playfulness. These attributes and a determination to persist with learning will serve us well.

Throughout time people have always had to adapt to changing circumstances. However, what we are faced with currently is not just change, but change at warp speed. We are now living with change that is unprecedented in both speed and frequency. If change is about learning, then faster and more frequent change is going to require faster and more frequent learning. If this is the case, then the question is: How? We may be able to learn new skills and strategies, but how long before these become obsolete and then what do we do?

It is imperative to move to another level of learning, deep or experiential learning, or what Peter Senge calls, second order learning. Why is it that we often find ourselves stuck when dealing with difficult circumstances and issues we can’t resolve? Why do the same issues continue to limit our effectiveness in our professional and personal lives? Typically, we might respond by saying: Because we don’t know how to deal with them. In other words we have not been successful in changing our behaviour so that we can get more satisfactory outcomes. Engaging in critical thinking and reflecting on why it is so will cause us to deepen our learning. I invite you to explore and identify any enemies and allies of learning you may have.

Examine your thinking and identify three enemies of learning that are evident and that you wish to release. Ask yourself: do I confuse knowing with having an opinion? Do I confuse knowing with thinking I’m right? Do I regard knowing as having information?

Then identify three allies of learning that you wish to reinforce and that will significantly impact your ability to learn and succeed in life. Ask yourself: Is my way of being such that I am open to learning? How can I be more open to learn from other people and events? Finally ask every day; what else is possib

What is it that causes us to behave the way we do?

2009-09-02T21:00:00.000+10:00

When you observe me, or I observe you - we are observing each others behaviours. However you and I are much more than our behaviours; because every behaviour, in fact everything we do is dictated by our beliefs. The key to really understanding others is to understand the deep beliefs they hold, only then can we appreciate the other person’s unique way of reasoning. We each have a personal belief system that determines what things mean to us and how we should react in virtually every situation we face. Different things are important to each of us, and everyone processes and evaluates what’s happening in their life based upon their own unique perspectives.

The key determining factors of human behaviours are habit and imagination. They are both far more powerful than logic and willpower. The key themes that drive our behaviours include discontent, dissatisfaction, discomfort, or unhappiness. We will always take action whenever we perceive we can potentially achieve a better state or condition, or where we can change a current state of unhappiness or discontent. When we act to achieve this the action we take can be either successful or unsuccessful. However all human behaviour is designed to create more happiness.

What creates our behaviour is simply an instinctive or emotional reaction to pain and pleasure, not some intellectual thought. We wish to move away from pain, and we wish to move towards pleasure. It’s the associations that we have linked in our mind about pain and pleasure; literally carved into our central nervous system; that determines the actions or reactions we choose. Although we would like to believe it’s our intellect that really informs and guides us, in most cases it’s our emotions, and the sensations we link to our thoughts, that prompt our behaviours.

Whatever we have learned to link pain and pleasure to is what influences our decisions and our actions, and will in turn dictate our results in life. Transformation is achieved when we change this linkage. So strong is this factor that it significantly shapes our destiny.

The good news is we can learn to condition our mind, our emotions and our bodies to link pain or pleasure to whatever we choose. By changing our beliefs we can change our behaviours. Beliefs are not innocent things. Our beliefs do not just process information; they are commands to the central nervous system. We know that thoughts send signals and messages to the body. As we think; so we begin to feel and respond. One way to make changes to beliefs is identify a belief you hold and ask:

Does this belief enhance or diminish my life?

Does this belief create resources or limitations?

Does this belief empower or disempower me?

Brian Tracy who writes extensively on this subject says: “The law of belief states that, whatever you believe, with feeling, becomes your reality. The more intensely you believe something to be true, the more likely it is that it will be true for you. Your dominant beliefs edit out or cause you to ignore incoming information that is inconsistent with what you have decided to believe.”

How self-image and self-esteem shape our life

2009-08-26T17:56:00.000+10:00

Research shows that four in every five people report they have suffered or currently suffer from low or diminished self esteem. Often this is event related. For instance, self esteem can diminish when we are faced with a situation where emotions are heightened. It is said, that by the time we reach the age of three, fifty percent of what we believe about ourselves has been formed, by six it is sixty percent and by nine it is around eighty percent. By the time we reach the age of twelve, up to ninety percent of us have a well developed sense of who we are and what we believe ourselves to be.

Self-esteem: having a favourable impression of one-self is a basic human need. It’s a measure of our self acceptance, and also indispensable to normal and healthy self-development. The experience of being competent to cope with the day to day challenges of life and being worthy of happiness, is a simple measure of our self-esteem, and a basic element in the health of every human being. All of us have the ability to, at any time, recreate and rebuild our self-esteem so that it better serves us.

I think… Our self-image is an automatic and inevitable consequence of what we choose to believe. It is a reflection of our reactions to past events and experiences. However those experiences have not made us the way we are; they have made us believe that’s the way we are. Ultimately however we have the power to decide what we will believe about ourselves, and therefore we should not accept self limiting beliefs imposed on us by others. Life has conditioned us to respond to things in certain ways, and our responses have lead to certain choices. Many people are unaware of why they respond to things as they do, and that their choices are automatic. Have you ever examined the beliefs you hold?

I feel… Our self-esteem is all about how we feel; our emotions. Our emotions are triggered by our thoughts and they are the key to personal effectiveness. They prescribe the way we act and react in life however we can change our actions and reactions by changing the way we link our beliefs and emotions.

I act… People with low self-esteem tend to react to events and circumstances. However this inevitably leads to a life of impoverishment and lost opportunity. People with high self-esteem instead choose to respond and strive to create a life of action. Often when faced with a new challenge we can become frozen by fear. Fear is simply a thought, mostly an irrational thought. Therefore, when we examine and identify our self-limiting beliefs and understand the impact they have, we have the opportunity to create new possibilities. Our future life swings on the doors we open and the doors we close every day.

To live more effectively and to make our way more successfully in this world we should seek to align our thoughts, our emotions, and our actions. One important way we can achieve alignment is to let go of past mistakes. Mistakes are as much a part of life as breathing and I speak as someone who has made more than my share. When we make a mistake we tend to blame ourselves, however another more empowering way to relate to and resolve our mistakes is to acknowledge them, see them as learning opportunities, internalise the lessons they hold and then move on.

The final thought is from Dr. Joe Rubino - We diminish ourselves when we lose sight of our magnificence and forget that we have special qualities, talents and gifts that would be of benefit to others. Abdicating responsibility for our greatness cheats the world because we short-change our potential to impact others with the special gifts only we can offer. One way to handle this preoccupation with our fears is to focus on worthwhile achievements that are much more significant than our petty concerns. Committing to worthwhile and lofty goal allows us to shift our focus from our concerns and problems and builds our self-image and self-esteem in the process.

Declarations will help you design your ideal day

2009-08-19T18:17:00.000+10:00

We all use language every day in many different ways. We use it to not only describe our world but also design it. And when we do we are using one or more linguistic acts. When Martin Luther King Jr. stated: ‘I have a dream…..’ When John F. Kennedy stated: ‘We will put a man on the moon by….’ They declared with those words new possibilities; a new destiny. They used a declaration, which is future focused language to cause what previously did not exist to exist. When you state: ‘I will become a…’ and: ‘I love you…’ and perhaps latter: ‘I do…’ You declare a new possibility. You literally use language to design a different future. Language is powerful and of all the linguistic acts declarations are the most powerful.

And this has an impact on how we set goals. Many people have goals that remain goals forever. Why is that so? Generally it’s because their goals aren’t expressed clearly and concisely. What many think are goals are really just dreams with little hope of realization. However don’t despair here’s how you can change that. A certain magic occurs whenever you place pen to paper, or fingers to keyboard, and make a declaration that describes how you intend your life to be. As a result your thoughts will become real.

If I asked you to describe your ideal day right now, could you? Many could not. And this is a problem because it’s only when we can describe our desired life in detail that out nonconscious mind can create it. Responding with something vague such as; I want to be wealthy someday; doesn't give your mind a definite target to aim for. How do you define wealthy? Is it $50,000, $500,000 or $5,000,000? And when is someday? Is it this month, this year or ten years?

To leverage the possibility of living the life you want, you must first declare exactly how you wish your life to be. Your ideal day should stimulate your imagination; it should be exciting and evocative. You get to write anything you’d like. Don't limit your ideas. Is it possible for you to……? Yes it is, and that's all your mind needs to know. Don't worry about how you will make it a reality. Your nonconscious mind will work on that. Just concentrate on the what, and the why, and allow your nonconscious mind to create the how. So now set aside an hour of undisturbed time with no distractions and develop your ideal day.

Step 1: You can use a pen and paper or type. I prefer to type because it makes editing easier. As you live your life; your vision of your ideal day will change. It’s perfectly normal that it should evolve as you do.

Step 2: Start from the time you awake, and paint a vivid word picture of your day. Describe your partner and family; how and where you work, your home and its décor; your health and daily routine. Describe your day in intimate detail. With this exercise you are literally creating your future. You declare yourself as you want to be, where and how you want to live, who you want to share your life with, and how you will earn your income. Crafting your ideal day infuses emotion into your view of the life you wish to lead. This provides momentum and motivation and causes your mind to shift your beliefs and behaviours and create it as your reality. The more emotion you evoke, the more it will impact your nonconscious mind.

Step 3: Once a week, set time aside to review and rewrite your ideal day. As you do develop your day in more detail, and invest your thoughts with even more emotion and enthusiasm. Whenever your mind discerns a difference between your inner and outer worlds, internal tension is created. This tension triggers your nonconscious mind to provide you with ideas, opportunities, and motivation, and as a result it will instinctively move to align your inner and outer worlds.

As you regularly revisit this process you can make whatever alterations you wish. Changes will occur over time, and things that were previously important may become less important. You will know what to change when what you’re reading doesn't resonate anymore. Declaring how your life will be is one of the most dramatic things you can do to generate profound change. It causes you to think about what's most important and how you want your world to be. So start now; describe your ideal day.

How will you know you are travelling true north?

2009-08-12T17:51:00.000+10:00

Recently I was speaking with a business partner, we were commenting about another person, and I said: Yes I agree; I trust him totally. And afterwards as I further reflected on my statement I began to think about values. What values do I, and others in my personal and professional life hold. How are those values displayed? And for me how effectively do I live out my values?

We all hold deep seated values that are mostly unconscious and mostly unspoken. Our values are like a compass pointing to what we imagine is ‘True North’ - they guide our choices, our actions and our reactions to the events in our life. So how can we be sure our values are indeed guiding us in the right direction? And what exactly are values? How do we form them?

What your values are is determined by your beliefs. You won’t find them out there somewhere; you’ll find them in your soul. The people who are the most admired in life are those with a solid sense of their own values, people with high standards, who live by them. We all know and respect people who stand up for what they believe, even if we don’t always agree with their ideas. Those people, who congruently lead lives where their philosophies and actions are one, are powerful people.

Every aspect of our lives is controlled by the magnetic pull of our values. Values are essentially a deep, unconscious belief system about what's important. They guide our every decision and, therefore, our destiny. Those who know their values and live by them become achievers in society. If we want the deepest level of fulfilment, we can have it only one way, and that is by deciding what we value most in life, what our highest values are, and then committing to live by those values every single day.

The more we reinforce any pattern of behaviour, the stronger that behaviour becomes. There is one single reason why people aren’t effective when they make a decision to change some aspect of their life. They keep trying to change their behaviour, which is the effect, instead of dealing with the belief or value that lies behind it. So the question for me is: What values must I hold to become the best person I can possibly be, to create my ultimate destiny, and impact my world?

And to add clarity to your internal conversation please answer this critical thinking question: ‘What single value is so important to you that you would teach it to others as the foundation for a successful and fulfilled life? If nothing immediately comes to mind perhaps discover it this way: Brain-storm on a keyboard or on paper and identify all the personal values you hold. Now number those values to reflect the most important through to the least important. Retain the top ten and discard the rest. Re-examine and re-rank them until you are sure the top ranked value is indeed the most important one.

Then expand on that by writing a response to these sentence stems:

‘The most important value in my life is…...‘
‘Others know this is my most important value because……’
‘I will share this important value with others by…...’
‘I know this value is leading me in the right direction because……’

Is your glass half full or is your glass half empty?

2009-08-05T19:05:00.000+10:00

A hunter purchased a retriever and spent many hours training it. One morning the hunter and his friend rose early, and set out to shoot a brace of ducks. After shooting the first duck the hunter sent his new dog to fetch it. The dog leaped from the boat and rapidly ran across the surface of the water to retrieve the duck. The dog’s owner smiled with pride, but his friend said nothing. A little while later the hunter shot a second duck, again the dog ran rapidly across the surface of the water to retrieve it. The second man still stayed silent. Finally the dog’s owner said ‘Do you notice anything about my new dog?’ And the second man replied. ‘Yes he can’t swim!’ Some people tend to focus on the negative in any situation.

It’s more natural for negative people to criticise, condemn and complain. The everyday person is more often than not negatively oriented and has a tendency to blame. They blame the weather, the economy, the government, and their family, for the things and circumstances that are not going well in their life. People with a negative view of life: avoid risk, mostly live in delusion, want to be comfortable, have a scarcity mentality, seek security, are problem oriented, think they know most things, trade time for money, will believe it when they see it, and believe problems are solved with more knowledge.

All we can ever know in life is what we perceive. And what we perceive is based on our past experiences. And we interpret those experiences using whatever tools and concepts we have inherited or learned that allow us to make sense of our world. So then the key question is: Do you currently experience the world as an inherently negative place, because you have adopted a negative way of thinking or as an inherently positive place because you have embraced a positive way of thinking?

The positive person is usually a high achiever. One who knows that defeats are temporary and adversity is simply the canvas on which they will paint their greatest masterpiece. They tend to have a positive orientation and attitude that allows them to out-perform others. People with a positive view of life: create results, manage their risk, live in reality, have an abundance mentality, accept personal responsibility, are grateful, have vision, are solution oriented, are open to learn, they choose growth, use intuition, seek success, see it because they believe it, and believe problems are solved through will.

It takes no more effort to form a positive thought than a negative one. When we decide to change our perception from negative - the world is inherently unfair; to positive - the world is conspiring to provide me with abundance. When we move our mind from interpreting things unconsciously based on past memories and experiences, to interpreting things consciously. When we choose to focus our attention and take personal responsibility for everything that happens in our world. We will move from a negative view of the world to a positive view. As we consistently practice this attitude and belief, we will experience profound personal change and create a new empowering state of mind that attracts success.

Here’s your critical thinking question for this week: Along a continuum from extremely negative on the left to extremely positive on the right; where would you place yourself? If you categorize yourself as being on the negative end but aspire to move to the positive end, then there are probably some issues you may want to think about. Where you identify reflects both your self-image, and your self-esteem. You can change both of these by becoming more mindful of your thinking and self-talk. So the key question is: As you journey through life - Is your glass half empty or is your glass half full?

A strong character will sustain your success in life

2009-07-29T21:35:00.000+10:00

Often in life we observe someone emerge from obscurity to achieve great success. They flash across the firmament like a shooting star, only to then crash and burn. Why is that so? Often it’s because their talent isn’t underpinned by strong character. Ability can take you to the top in any endeavour, but its only character that will keep you there. Outstanding character is more important than outstanding talent. Most talents are to some extent a gift. Good character, by contrast, is not a given, it’s not set in stone but is a construct, built on the foundation of our beliefs. And it changes over time based on what it is we give our attention to. Character therefore can be both de-constructed and also re-constructed. It’s built brick by brick, by daily attention to our thoughts, our choices, with courage, and determination.

So what exactly is character? Our character is comprised of the collective mental and moral qualities that distinguish us as an individual. It’s our ability to follow through with a commitment we make to ourselves. It’s the sum total of the choices we make every day. Our character today is as a result of past choices. Our character tomorrow will be a result of today’s choices. Our choices and our character will be inevitably and eventually congruent. To change our character, we must simply change our choices. Because day by day, what we think, what we chose, and what we do is who we become.

Although there will always be differences of opinion as to what constitutes character, some traits appear to be universal. A recent survey found that truthfulness, compassion, freedom, responsibility, and reverence for life were considered the most important traits. From a practical perspective, the world could not function properly if responsibility and truthfulness did not exist. A person of character has behaviours that display both respect and integrity.

The definitions of character are all to do with action or behaviour and our character is revealed through our behaviour. In contrast to a belief or attitude which isn’t the same as an action. We may think one way, but act another. People behave in certain ways because they possess a particular philosophy, and we can observe their philosophy by observing their behaviour.

Often the most important aspects of our character are developed in adversity. Just like the best timber which comes from the strongest trees; those that have been buffeted by the wind, and tested by the elements, such that the tension creates fine close grained timber much prized by artisans and artists.

I prize his poem but unfortunately I cannot reference the author. It’s titled: The common law of Life.

The tree that never had to fight: for sun and sky and air and light. But stood out in the open plain: And always got its share of rain; will never become a forest king. But will live and die a spindly thing.

The man who never had to learn to toil; to gain and work his patch of soil. Who never had to win his share; of sun and sky and light and air. Never became an inspiring man; but lived and died as he began.

Good timber does not grow with ease. The stronger the wind the stronger the trees. The higher the sky the longer the length: the more the storm the more the strength. Through sun and cold by rain and snow; in both trees and men good timbers grow

Where thickest is the forest growth. We find the patriarchs of both. And they hold counsel with the stars. Whose broken branches show the scars; of many winds and much of strife; this is the common law of life.

Welcome adversity, learn and apply its lessons; they will help you develop a strong character, one that will sustain you in your journey through life.

Catching and complimenting positive behaviour

2009-07-22T18:41:00.000+10:00

At least twice each week I visit my local coffee shop to relax, read, think, and enjoy a good cup of coffee. Some months ago Vince and Kim employed a new staff member whose name is Lisa. Lisa has a ready smile, an open and cheerful personality, calls her regular customers by name, and consistently provides great customer service. I don’t imagine Lisa will work for my friends forever, but the skills she has been taught and the personality she has cultivated will ensure success in whatever she does in life.

The other day as Lisa passed by the table where I was sitting I called her over and said how much I enjoyed the great service she provides. There are other good people who work in that shop but Lisa stands out for all the reasons I mentioned. I don’t know if customers regularly give Lisa compliments, but I think she appreciated my comments and because it is consistently deserved I enjoyed saying how much I appreciate the service.

Customer service providers in the restaurant and hospitality industry in Australia are not well paid, and we don’t have a culture of tipping for service, or adding a service charge to the cost of food and drink, unless it’s in a top end establishment. So the consistent service that Lisa gives is a genuine reflection of both her training and attention to customer care and not driven by any expectation, or culture of entitlement, such as I have observed in some countries where tipping is an entrenched practice.

Where am I going with this? Well I’m proposing a revolution! A revolution based on catching and complimenting people for behaving positively. Just imagine the result if every day you caught someone, somewhere, in any situation doing something right and told them so. Then imagine the result if we each recruited five people to the cause and everyone complimented one person a day. And imagine what would happen if those five found five who found five. How that would impact the service culture of your town or city? And perhaps you could forward this article to five people to start the revolution.

We all in some way provide service to others - at home, at work, in our community, so when you catch someone doing something right immediately compliment them, say what you observed, why you are complimenting them, and most importantly how you ‘feel’ about it. Encourage them to continue to do more of what they are doing so well; or even better gently challenge them to do even better. Emphasise how they and others will benefit. One of our responsibilities in life is to encourage others. To help them set the performance bar higher, to stretch, reach out and realize their full potential.

It’s not only important to recognize people for what they do, but also to acknowledge them for who they are. Praise is both powerful and empowering because it raises self esteem, which in turn raises confidence, and so we perform even better. When we feel ‘good’ our brain releases a chemical called Dopamine, which plays a critical role in the way the central nervous system works, including the brains complex system of motivation and reward. So catching and complimenting people doing something right is a great way to give someone a natural ‘high’ as well as encourage and reinforce desired behaviour.

People may over time forget exactly what you said, but they will forever remember exactly how they felt as a result of what you said. We can literally praise people to success. The cosmetics entrepreneur Mary Kay’s mantra was: “Praise people to success.” I invite you to join the revolution and encourage others.

Three simple concepts for creating success in life

2009-07-15T18:34:00.000+10:00

Here are three simple concepts that have helped me in my journey through life. The first is: “Successful people do what unsuccessful people are not willing to do”. The second is: “Successful people live outside their comfort zone.” The third is: “Successful people play where the money is.” These concepts helped form my personal philosophy; one that’s served me well.

I was taught these concepts many years ago when offered an opportunity to enter an industry that was new to me. When I did so I took to heart Cicero’s wise words: “The skill to do comes from the doing.” I was taught that: “Action both proceeds and produces learning.” So I simply determined to do what others were not prepared to do. If action was the way forward then I would take significant and sustained action and when I did amazing results occurred. Intense action was the key to success. I simply made more calls and worked more hours than anyone else I knew. When I was tempted to slow down I would say to myself: “Successful people do what unsuccessful people are not willing to do.”

When faced with an uncomfortable situation, setting an appointment with someone of considerable status, speaking in public, making an important presentation, restructuring a business, or leading large numbers of people, I would say to myself: “Successful people live outside their comfort zone.”

When others were relaxing and having fun while I worked, I said to myself: “Successful people play where the money is.” It might sound simplistic but these statements helped me develop a winning philosophy and an empowering attitude. This led to increased productivity which in turn provided the outcomes I’d always wanted.

Adopting these beliefs helped me develop the discipline to take actions others were unwilling to take, but that I was willing and committed to take. Now I understand that not everyone is committed to chase their goals hard. Many work just enough to keep in the game, but never with the intensity required to win the game. What a waste of time and talent, you can’t approach success in life like you would a favourite hobby. Those who do can’t experience major success.

For those who dare to dream big dreams these are critical questions that you should be able to answer. Are you willing to do whatever you must do for as long as you must do it to achieve your dominant dream? What type of commitment are you prepared to make? For how long will you make that commitment? What are you willing to give to get what you want? What are you willing to exchange for success?

It’s not possible to achieve significant success without sacrifice. We must choose between immediate gratification and long term frustration, or delayed gratification and long term success. For me I knew that: “For things to change, I must change. For things to get better, I must get better.” Think long and hard about your intentions. Particularly what you are prepared to give in order to succeed! Are you a, let’s hope for the best kind of person? Or are you a, nothing’s going to stop me type of person?

Finally don’t declare and share your dreams with just anyone in your world. You should only share your goals with; those who really care for you; those who have a direct stake in your success; those who are prepared and positioned to assist you achieve your goal. No matter what happens and it will, always move forwards, always work at creating the life of your dreams. Never ever allow the idle observers and the concerned commentators dictate your results in life.

So how can we create profound personal change

2009-07-08T21:16:00.000+10:00
Are you coachable? Do you have a personal coach? Skilled and insightful coaching can be the catalyst that triggers the chain reaction leading to personal growth and change. The purpose of coaching is to provoke critical thinking that in turn creates new distinctions which produce transformational learning. Learning that causes deep shifts in consciousness. Learning that creates profound personal change.

A great coach is one with a respectful approach and attitude, someone fully focused on the best outcome for the person they are coaching. And definitely not someone with a desire to display superior knowledge. Superior knowledge doesn’t make a great coach but insightfulness, perception and a serving heart certainly does.

However that said the most productive and profound coaching is self coaching. And how can we engage in that? I suggest it’s through critical thinking. And this is relevant to anyone committed to ‘Kaizen’ the practice of continual learning. Anyone both willing and able to engage in objective and critical thinking. Because as Confucius stated: “The unexamined life is not worth living.”

Critical thinking allows us to make distinctions between informational and transformational learning. Informational learning is incremental learning and transformational learning is quantum learning and only occurs as we engage in personal reflection. We experience transformational learning when we ask ourselves critical questions about our beliefs and behaviours. When we continually question: Does this belief or this behaviour serve me? If we don’t engage in critical thinking we are forever condemned to walk the same circular path in life.

As we question ourselves we align our lives more closely with our unique contribution to the wider world. Critical thinking and self analysis require courage. I invite you to explore the possibilities. So what should we examine? First I suggest you examine the deep-seated perceptions and attitudes that direct and drive both your continual internal conversations and your behaviours. This includes the invisible ways we all use language to interpret and to create our reality.

Then we should examine our emotions. Our emotions create within us a predisposition to act in certain ways. And we choose every emotion we experience. Humans are emotional beings and the emotions we move in and out of every day are dictated by the underlying moods in which we live. These moods comprise our long term emotional orientation. They are formed by our tradition, and shaped by our ethnic, cultural and family influences. These influences form the way we interpret and interact with the world and they determine how we live out our life.

And finally we should examine our values and beliefs. If your current beliefs serve you well embrace them, if they don’t then simply release them and adopt better and more empowering beliefs. Contrary to popular opinion, life does not get better by chance, life gets better by change. This change always takes place within. When we change our thoughts we can then create a better life for ourselves.

The last word this week is from Randy Gage: “You change your circumstances when you change your actions. You change your actions when you change your beliefs. You change your beliefs when you engage in critical thinking.”

It's impossible to land on the runway behind you

2009-07-01T19:46:00.000+10:00
During my journey through life I have created significant successes, and I have also made monumental mistakes. Perhaps you have too. What I’ve learned from riding the roller coaster of life is to always focus on the future not the past. I’ve adopted the philosophy that my history is not my destiny. It’s hard when we fail, but far worse to never try. No matter what happens to you remember that every experience has positive value, and every experience serves you.

Most successful people falter and fail a multitude of times before they succeed. Actually there’s no real failure except when we decide to no longer try. There’s no defeat except we say there is. There is no barrier except that of our own inherent weakness of purpose. Before success becomes a reality we are sure to meet with temporary defeat, and perhaps some failure. When defeat overtakes us, the easiest and most logical thing to do is quit. And that’s exactly what the majority of people do.

But that’s not your destiny. Just stay focused on your mission in life. The thing you inherently sense you are meant to accomplish and contribute. Learn the important lessons contained in the mistakes you make. Then release them and let them go. The key to learning from any experience that hasn’t turned out well is to extract from it the valuable benefits and lessons it offers, understanding that the lesson continues until the lesson is learned. This learning emerges when we hold ourselves accountable and ask critical questions such as: What happened? Why did it happen? What part did I play? What learning can I gain? What significant shifts in perception must I now make that will serve me better in the future?

Failure has taught me that if something can’t be done in the way I thought it could, then I should just take another, sometimes parallel path and simply try again. Failure is never final unless we accept that it’s so. It can simply be a stepping stone to success. There’s no one except you keeping score of your failures, they don’t count against you. If you do this, you’ll eventually succeed. Most people make one or two attempts, and they then stop trying. I encourage you to embrace the words and philosophy of Thomas Alva Edison: “I am not discouraged, because every failure is yet another step forward.”

It can be painful when we fail, but never as painful as quitting and adopting the negative belief: I have failed therefore I am a failure. That’s crap thinking! You’re simply an evolving human being, one who makes mistakes, so what! The problem with this thing people call failure is not in falling down, but in staying down. It’s more empowering to adopt the philosophy that, when I fall down I get up, dust myself off and continue on. For every failure, there’s an alternate course of action. You just have to find it.

The good news is that you can make a new start anytime you want. It’s a fact that we learn nothing from our successes. It is from failure that all growth comes, provided you can recognise it, admit it, learn from it, rise above it, and try yet again. So don’t choose to become the prisoner of your past, but rather make a much more empowering choice which is to become the architect of your future.

Orison Swett Marden has a valuable contribution to this subject: “There is no failure for the person who realizes their power, who never acknowledges they are beaten; there is no failure for the determined endeavour; the unconquerable will. There is no failure for the person who gets up every time they fail, the person who rebounds, the person who pushes on when others turn back.”

How to create more success in life more quickly

2009-06-24T17:28:00.000+10:00
How do elite athletes enhance their performance? Besides following an intense disciplined training regime, they increasingly employ mind techniques that allow them to utilize all their faculties to enter into a simulated state of success. They see, hear, smell, taste, and feel success before achieving it. Why does this work? Simply because whatever we think about most often and with intensity expands in our life. For instance if we constantly worry about a lack of money, we will create more experiences of lacking money. Visualising about opportunities to make money will help us. Worrying about the lack of money will hinder us.

Visualisation is more than just positive thinking! It's first entering into a relaxed state, and then flooding your nonconscious mind with a sensory rich experience of life as you want it to be. The more relaxed you are, the more open your nonconscious mind will be to receive the messages you send it. And the more of your senses that you involve in your visualization, the greater the impact this will have.

Here's an important characteristic of the nonconscious mind: it can't tell the difference between your external world and your internal imagination. It cannot discern between the past, the present and the future. Whenever you visualise an event in great detail and with intense emotion, your nonconscious mind accepts that it's happening now. And the more times you do this the more ‘real’ it will seem. This is a key point because the contrast or gap between your outer ‘reality’ and your inner ‘desire’ then creates tension in your mind, causing it to seek ways to fulfil your desires. Once it accepts your visualisation as ‘fact’ it will identify ideas, people, opportunities and motivation that will allow you to match your outer experience with your inner experience.

Let's say that you want a new vehicle. Wanting a new vehicle is too vague; we must describe the vehicle in detail. What brand and style? What colour, and what trim? You need to be absolutely specific. For instance, a new Audi A5 coupe, black with cream leather interior, with an eight cylinder engine and automatic transmission, fitted with custom wheels and a stunning sound system is better. Once you have created that picture see yourself walking up to it. Run your hands over the body, feel how smoothly it flows. Open the door, and smell the leather. Settle into the contoured driver’s seat, and grip the steering wheel. Start the engine and hear its note as you accelerate. It’s important to visualize from an associated, not from a disassociated state. For instance; experience this as if you are sitting behind the steering wheel, not as if you are outside observing yourself sitting behind the wheel.

You can use this simple three step visualization, to help achieve any desire or goal you want. I encourage you to practice this dynamic technique daily. We all lead busy lives and sometimes scheduling this may take some creative skill, but you can visualize in ten minutes almost anywhere. Are you ready?

Step 1: Sit in a comfortable, relaxed position. Perhaps have classical music playing, or nature sounds or simply quiet. Take a deep breath, hold it for a count of three, and as you exhale, say the number ten to yourself. Take another breath, hold it for a count of three, and as you exhale, say the number nine. Repeat this until you reach zero. As you do you will be totally relaxed.

Step 2: Now see and experience your dream or goal as if it were already accomplished. Put yourself into the picture. Use all your senses. Create the experience in vivid sensory rich detail. How does it look, feel, taste, sound and smell. Intensify the colour and adjust the sound. The more specifics you can add, the stronger the effect. You will know you are visualizing correctly when you begin to feel excited. This is because your nonconscious mind honestly thinks it’s really happening and you will feel intensely joyful.

Step 3: Once you have visualized as many details as possible, you can start coming back to awareness. Unless you properly bring yourself back, you may feel tired but done correctly you will feel energised. Take a deep breath, hold it for a count of three, and as you exhale, say zero to yourself. Continue this process until you reach ten. Hold your breath again, and this time as you exhale, say this phrase out loud: I’m now fully aware, energised and refreshed and so happy that I have achieved my goal.

The closing thought this week is from author Claude M. Bristol - “Picture whatever you desire as though it has already been achieved. See yourself having something, being something or doing something as an already accomplished fact.”

How to take responsibility for the results in your life

2009-06-17T17:25:00.000+10:00
Taking responsibility is a state of mind. It occurs when we own our decisions and actions, and become pro-active about the things we must do in order to fulfil our dreams. Self-responsibility isn’t for the faint hearted, or for those with low self-esteem. It’s not for those whose value, and self-worth is conditional, or whose emotions are always in play. Self-responsibility is vital to a fulfilled life. Because when we stop accusing, blaming, and complaining, we then get on with life. We recognize what we must do, and do it.

So how can we create this state of mind? Here are some markers to the self-responsible person. They are proactive. They continuously question and learn. They first identify and then live their values. They take deliberate decisions. They initiate action and enthusiastically pursue their goals in life. They bounce back from disappointments. They’re aware of their resources, and strengths. They make bold decisions and follow through. They hold themselves accountable, and also allow others to hold them accountable. They are socially responsible.

Self-responsibility can be described as the practice of being responsible for the results we want. Not hoping, or demanding that someone else will ‘do’ something while we sit on the sidelines and observe. It’s through self-responsibility that we attain personal power. And if the key issue is being accountable for the results we want. How then do we do that? How do we develop responsibility for our thoughts, our choices, and our actions?

The answer lies in a deep seated belief that we can make a difference. That we can always do something, that there is always some action we can take. And that we can trust our powers of mind, emotion, speech, and behaviour to navigate our way through life. It’s a state of mind where we trust in ourselves and our ability to figure it out. Knowing we can acquire the necessary knowledge, we can develop whatever skills we require, and we can make life happen. As we develop and commit ourselves to the results we want, then self-responsibility is simple and profound. It‘s about manifesting all that we are capable of experiencing, becoming, having, feeling, thinking, choosing, giving, and contributing.

When our thoughts are healthy, appropriate, and empowering, we then often have peak experiences. And we all have these from time to time. Those who are able to attain this state, step into a situation where they can completely access their full resources. We recognize these people as the experts, the masters of some art, craft, skill, or science. When we relate meaning and performance to this state it reveals a pathway for unleashing our potential. Whenever we act without reflecting on meaning or connecting with our highest calling, the less motivation we will have and the less effective we will be.

We are all responsible for living our own life. No one can do this for us. Believing in entitlement, that the world owes you, the government owes you, your family owes you, and playing your life ‘small’ will sabotage your success. To unleash our potential each of us has to accept, acknowledge, and act on our own inner powers. Only then can we take the initiative to discover our strengths and weaknesses and take action to discover what makes us most fully ourselves. In this we are seeking how we can best express our unique contributions and through that create a successful life, make a significant difference, and leave a meaningful legacy.

Here’s your critical thinking exercise for this week. Complete this sentence stem and generate at least ten endings. “If I were to take full responsibility for making my dreams and goals come true, I would….”

Don’t worry about whether the endings you write are positive or negative, that’s not the point of the exercise. The point is to increase awareness. It is to download the responses from your nonconscious mind about self-responsibility. Doing this will then allow you to decide which of the responses best serve you. You can simply keep and reflect on the best and discard the rest.

Success isn't permanent and failure isn't fatal

2009-06-10T19:04:00.000+10:00
It’s interesting to arrive at the point in life where there’s more time behind you than in front of you and to then accept the perspective it provides about your past, present, and future. At various points in my life I have achieved massive personal and professional success and at other times been in the depths of despair. I now observe patterns in beliefs and behaviours that weren’t previously evident. Particularly how it is I first created, and then reacted to failure. However for me failure is not my destiny.

Failure is an emotionally charged issue, because it at some time touches everyone. No-one is immune. Life is a cycle. Throughout our life we succeed and we fail, we have moral lapses, we ruin relationships, we fail in various ventures. However how well we eventually do in life can be directly determined by our reaction to failure. Some people choose to say: ‘I have failed therefore I am a failure, and thereafter timidly tip-toe through life.’ And some people internalise failure as: ‘I have failed in this instance, but that doesn’t mean I’m a failure, and they then move on. Failure is not fatal, but failure to learn and change might be. Both setbacks and successes are just a part of life. Failure is an attitude, not a result.

People who are positively oriented ask themselves: ‘How did this happen?’ What part did I play?’ ‘What lessons can I learn?’ ‘What corrections must I make?’ ‘How do I move on from here?’ ‘And most importantly, what’s next for me?’ It’s not only in the big sweep of life, but also in the small details of life where we can fail. At times we create failure when we don’t manage our emotional and mental states.

When failure occurs it’s often not because of what people do, but what they fail to do. Some common omissions include: They fail to set crystal clear goals with well formed outcomes. They fail to develop a detailed action plan. They fail to take effective action to execute their plan. People fail because they simply don’t expect to succeed. They fail because they lack inner motivation. Many times people fail because they have self-limiting beliefs. They fail because their expectations are greater than their power to apply self-discipline. They fail because they don’t have the raw results-producing personal power to persist and meet or exceed their expectations. However every one of these issues can be corrected.

Finally only those who allow themselves to fail can succeed. Failure isn’t an option, its part of the success process. When we don’t allow ourselves to fail, failure becomes more and more loaded with emotional meaning. This prevents us from learning. It prevents failing from being part of the feedback process. Feedback helps us define and refine our performance. When we align failure with deep emotion our fear often prevents us from succeeding. However when we give ourselves permission to fail we sidestep any concerns we might feel about our performance. It allows us to keep trying. When we allow this, we will succeed. We will succeed because we have released ourselves from the fear of failure.

Here’s your critical thinking assignment for this week. Ask yourself this question: ‘In the past, what has been my reaction to failure? List your past failures. Then categorize them so you can identify patterns. Reflect on and internalize the learning, then decide how you can make decisions that better serve you in the future. I absolutely relate to the advertisement where Michael Jordan is shown reflecting on his career, and he says: “I have failed over, and over, and over again, in my life, and that is why I succeed.”

Adopting the daily discipline of repetitive writing

2009-06-03T16:32:00.000+10:00
Often there can be a disconnect between setting a goal and achieving that goal and sometimes that can be because we assume that setting a goal and working towards it is all that’s required for success. However human beings are not motivated by logic, but by emotion, by passion. And if we don’t fully engage our emotions in support of our goals we can spin our wheels. Here’s a simple way to engage your emotions.

Writing your gaols each day is a discipline with benefits that will resonate far beyond the ten minutes it takes to complete this task. This powerful exercise develops both passion, and focus. Doing this daily will activate desire and increase the ‘structural tension’ in your brain. And as a result help close the gap between your current reality and the outcome you want. It will also increase motivation, stimulate creativity, and heighten your awareness of the resources and tools that will help you achieve your goal.

Write your major goals at least ten times; then read each goal aloud and with passion. Pause; close your eyes and see and feel the goal as if it were achieved. If the process of writing your goal statement becomes boring, do it anyway. Is brushing your teeth fun? Hardly, but you do it because you want your teeth to be clean and feel healthy and you want to avoid fillings the next time you visit the dentist.

Your primary school teacher had a point when she disciplined you by making you write: ‘I must not misbehave in class’ - well, she almost got it right. Like most people, she structured the statement poorly by focusing on the negative. Writing the sentence ‘I must not misbehave in class’ actually reinforced your negative behaviour. The nonconscious mind processes thoughts as images and cannot visualize the word; not.

In this example all your nonconscious mind recognizes and ‘sees’ are the images of ‘I…misbehave…in class’ So your well-meaning teacher reinforced the opposite behaviour to that which she intended. And guess what happened the next day? You misbehaved in class again! And how did the teacher discipline you? She had you write those sentences again, further reinforcing your negative behaviour. So let's now put this idea of daily repetitive goal writing into positive application.

Step 1: Ideally pick one; up to three goals you wish to achieve. Or one; up to three positive behaviours that you want to adopt. As results materialize you can include other goals. And, to really accelerate your progress you may want to add a visualization or meditation session to the mix. If you decide to do that then I suggest you focus on the same goals you are working on with this repetitive writing exercise.

Step 2: Now craft a powerful, positive, personal, present tense statement describing how it will be when you have achieved your goal. Formatted correctly your statement should be rich with emotion. It’s our emotional commitment to what we want, not the logic of any particular goal that moves us and the universe. For instance: ‘Nothing tastes as good as slim feels. I am so proud of my body shape; and happy that I now have abundant energy and consistently weigh …..’

Step 3: Buy a notebook. Using a notebook or your journal is much more effective than writing on some scrap of paper you happen to have. And sometimes you may not remember if you wrote your goal statements that day or not. Having a notebook to refer to will help you keep on track.

Step 4: Enter the date at the top of the page and then write your goal statement at least ten times. From personal experience I find ten times to be the perfect number. But do more if you have the time. If you will do this exercise each morning and then again just before going to sleep at night your nonconscious mind will fully absorb the statement you are writing, process it up to six times more while you sleep, and then attract to you the resources and tools you need to make your goal a reality.

Who will win the race for life the gazelle or the lion?

2009-05-27T19:26:00.000+10:00
Imagine you are standing on a mountain watching dawn break over the sweeping Serengeti Plains in East Africa. In the distance, a gazelle awakens, shivers, stretches, and warily looks around. The gazelle knows that it must run faster than the fastest lion if it wants to survive that day. At the same time a lion awakens, yawns, stretches, and eagerly looks around, it knows that it must run faster than the slowest gazelle if it wants to eat that day. Who will win the race for life the gazelle or the lion? This story acts as a metaphor for life in this ever more complex and competitive world in which we live. And bye the way, as you awaken, what are your thoughts about the new day that awaits you?

To stay competitive in the game of life we must embrace life-long learning, and continue to develop our skills. However, if we over-focus on the pursuit of more and ever more knowledge, it can become a deterrent to action. At worst it can paralyse us or at best it can slow us down. So instead of enabling us to run more swiftly the pursuit of knowledge can act as an anchor. When is enough learning enough? Because winning in life isn’t about more learning; ultimately it’s about more action, more doing.

However we hold the persistent hope, the stubborn wish, that we will discover some shortcut, an easier way. We'd rather work on our ‘inner’ world for a few days or weeks or months. Until we finally understand that we control this life we live. So, how do we turn what we know into what we actually do? All high performers agree: whenever you decide on a new goal or direction, take immediate and massive action, and just do it! Ultimately, we don't have to, ‘reclaim our will’ or ‘find our confidence’ or ‘develop our discipline.’ We don't even have to believe that we can do it. We just have to do it. Doing what needs to be done doesn’t require a change to our internal state. We must just; do it or not!

So what stops us from acting swiftly to secure our dreams and goals? What enables us? What blocks us? Self-limiting beliefs are the major cause of inaction. Many people live their life with their brakes on. They see their glass as half empty rather than half full. They dwell on their past rather than their future. They do that in spite of knowing that you can’t land on the runway behind you. One way to break free of self-limiting beliefs is to understand and buy into one simple thought. Your history is not your destiny! We are designed and pre-destined for greatness; all we need to do is embrace and expand that thought.

Many people learn to ‘just do it’, after exhausting all the other short-cuts and psychological tricks and motivational techniques. After they have explored subliminal conditioning, affirmations, astrology, visualization, clairvoyants and fortune tellers, inspirational speakers, and positive self-talk. Then we must still answer the question. Will I do it, or not do it? And with that question we confront reality.

We can’t wait for things to be perfect before we act or we'll never make progress. We must release our brakes. Act, get out of our comfort zone and ‘just do it’ expecting to be successful. It’s better to be eighty percent sure and make things happen than to wait until we are one hundred percent sure, because by then the opportunity may well have passed us by, the prize may be claimed by another. So remember the gazelle and the lion and when you wake tomorrow start running like your life depends on it. It does!

And in the words of the great writer George Bernard Shaw: "Never mind likes and dislikes; they are of no consequence. Just do what must be done; this may not be happiness, but it is greatness."

Climbing the ladder to the land of you dreams

2009-05-20T17:44:00.000+10:00
This is a continuation of last weeks article titled: ‘Ensure your ladder is leaning against the right wall.’

The fourth step is building a team: The key focus here is to attract and build a team of people whose gifts, insights, and strengths are different but synergistic to yours. They should add what you can’t provide, and have experience different to yours. Choose people who will challenge and expand your thinking. Team members don’t need to be employees. In fact, it’s often better to develop a strategic alliance of independent team members, each of whom can contribute their own expertise, and bring new perspectives.

Remember too that a fully aligned team takes time to form. Teamwork develops best when people feel they are valued, are willing participants, and operate within a supportive environment. Seek every opportunity to develop open communication. And most importantly build mutual trust. The process of building an effective team will lead you to engage in self-examination and ask yourself critical questions. Particularly to identify how you can become a better leader. Its one skill to lead a team of employees, it is leadership of a higher order to lead a collaborative team of independent people. The key here is to work harder on self-development than you do on business development.

The fifth step is creating synergy: Synergy is where ‘magic’ happens. Most businesses fail to achieve their full potential. Often it’s because the person who owns the business is skilled at their technical work but doesn’t truly know how to build a business that works with or without him or her. The key is to work ‘on’ the business where possible; not ‘in’ the business, learning how to leverage the skills of the team so that the whole is greater than the sum of the parts. Synergy is a result of listening, building mutual trust, tuning into your intuition, being flexible, having compassion, and a total commitment to action.

The sixth step is achieving results: although up to ninety percent of new start-ups fail within one to five years they often do so because they haven’t made the necessary distinctions that distinguish them from others. Optimal results are achieved by ensuring you spend a significant percentage of your time on whatever are the measurable revenue producing activities in your field, and delegating or outsourcing everything else you can.

In life we choose to either have reasons or results. Commit yourself to engage and move boldly forward, embrace a willingness to make mistakes, and don’t become frozen with fear. When you decide to become an entrepreneur and to play the game of business some days will be testing and some days will be triumphant. However spectacular results will occur as you fully focus on creating success in your niche and when all the elements of the model are in place.

Remember that scarcity only exists in the mind. The universe is designed to deliver abundance when we follow universal laws. Don’t deviate. Always define, refine, and refocus. Results will then occur ‘precessionally’ or at a serendipitous tangent to your stated intention, because when you plan, commit and take action on your plan, its like dropping a pebble into a pond, the ripples spread and have far reaching effects well beyond what you may dream. All that’s left is to celebrate your success.

“The process for establishing a successful business is: find a master, together identify a niche, learn how to leverage that niche, develop a team; with that team generate the power of synergy, then create results.” - D.C. Cordova of Excellerated Learning Systems. This article is based on a concept taught in the ‘Money and You’ seminar facilitated by Robert Kiyosaki and Blair Singer, in which I participated.

Ensure your ladder is leaning against the right wall

2009-05-13T16:10:00.000+10:00
Climbing the ladder that leads onwards and upwards to success is assured providing your ladder is leaning against the right wall. Jim Rohn teaches us: ‘Profits are better than wages. Wages can make you a living but profits can make you a fortune.’

When you invest your life in pursuing the dream of another; whether a business owner, or corporate shareholders; you are in effect abdicating your own dreams, putting a ceiling on your potential, and delivering your life into the control of another. You know what they have planned for you? Not much. The best way to develop the ‘life of your dreams’ is to create your own business. This allows you to leverage your intention, your attention and your time. So how do you do that? Six steps comprise the process:

The first step is finding a master: In your chosen field there is always one easily identified pre-eminent person who has mastered the area of expertise in which you wish to excel. This person is the master practitioner who can provide clear distinctions and teach you the lessons you need to learn. Identify and then seek to apprentice yourself to them as your mentor. Connect closely, subjugate your ego, and commit to learning. Work with your master to identify your passion and align your expertise with your personal purpose. If you don’t yet have a master you should now identify and engage with one. This is a vital first step. Mastery is only gained through experience. When you commit to doing whatever you need to do to learn all you can, you will become an expert in your particular profession or discipline.

The second step is identifying a niche: A niche is simply an area of business that few others are engaged in. There are niches within niches, things that others are not doing, or not doing well. Work with your mentor to identify a unique niche. This could be found within: your profession, your area of attraction, your geographical area, your ethnic grouping, your circle of influence, your circle of concern. But it will inevitably be something for which you can develop passion.

Another way you can identify an unfilled need is by examining where people are seeking to: move towards pleasure, or move away from pain. Look for a ‘problem’ or ‘issue’ where your expertise can create a unique solution? Most successful businesses are focused on an area where someone has first identified and then exploited a niche; as a result they have little competition. Work with your mentor to establish the distinctions that will define your offer and set it apart so that you stand out from others. As you do you’ll see more clearly what you want to achieve and the reasons why you want it. Once you select your niche, fully focus, and learn more about it than anyone else; fall in love with every aspect of it; the process, the products, the customers, and the suppliers.

The third step is developing leverage: Successful business entrepreneurs put in place replicating systems that can be utilised and implemented by others. They continually question and refine the way they and their business operate. They continuously search for more effective systems, from concept to creation, from research to reality, from idea to implementation. Remember it’s a simple task to make things complex, but a complex task to make things simple. And according to W. Edwards Deming: That which can be measured can be improved. Businesses succeed by adding value and by doing more with less.

Article to be continued next week; here's the final thought for now. “The process for establishing a successful business is: find a master, together identify a niche, learn how to leverage that niche, develop a team; with that team generate the power of synergy, then create results.” - D.C. Cordova

The process of making and keeping commitments

2009-05-06T15:15:00.000+10:00
Our relationships with other people are vital to our effective participation in the world. We live in a world of engagement and the language we choose to use creates a ‘precessional’ power that ripples outwards. Somewhat similar to the reaction that occurs when we drop a pebble in a pond. We use language to not only describe our world but to create it. And effective communication, including keeping our commitments is central to that. Keeping commitments is a crucial factor for every family, friendship or partnership, and for every team, association, or organisation. Every one of these groups is comprised of us, and others, engaging in a continuing cycle of conversations and commitments.

Of all the types of conversations we have, the most potent and productive is when we make an offer to another, or when we request a commitment from another. And when that offer or request is accepted this can be characterised as ‘The Promise Cycle’. This simple act of making and managing promises then creates a mutual commitment from one person to another to take a specific future action.

And the responsibility that accompanies a promise is to do ‘what’ we said we would do, do it to the ‘standard’ to which we committed, and to do it at the ‘time’ we committed to. In other words, we must deliver what we promise, to the standard we promise and when we promise. The effectiveness of this process relies on the clarity of the conditions. In other words, how well formed and well expressed the commitment is, and how well it’s understood by both people.

The promise cycle can be described this way. When you offer to do something for another as an: Offer + Acceptance = Promise, or when another makes a request of you as a: Request + Acceptance = Promise. In life we bind ourselves to each other through promises and we begin to drift when we don’t deliver on those promises. Therefore the making and keeping of commitments is an important element of our communication. It determines predictability, certainty and continuity in all our various relationships.

Now imagine the profound impact that would occur in every aspect of life if all members of your family, your team, your associations, or your organisation kept their commitments? Mutual trust would increase, and as a result efficiency, effectiveness and productivity would grow exponentially. Trust is central to our identity. Such a simple process; such a profound impact. And In an organisational setting; understanding and using this process allows team and business leaders to develop a committed, collaborative, high-performance culture.

Now think of one instance in both your personal life and professional life where you have made a promise and delivered on that promise.

Then think of one instance in both your personal and professional life when you have made a promise and not delivered on that promise.

What were the implications and results?

What could you have done, or would you now do, differently?

Critical thinking creates continual learning and change

2009-04-30T16:39:00.000+10:00
How often do you think? Yes, I know we all think all the time. But how often do you engage in deep, disciplined, thought provoking, critical thinking. The kind of thinking that triggers deep and fundamental change? Something I read years ago has stayed with me: ‘We become too soon old and too late smart’. Critical thinking is simply the act of reflecting on our beliefs, assumptions and actions and being open to consider new ways of looking at and living in the world. Critical thinking is a productive process that enables us to be more effective and innovative in the important areas of life, and to develop wisdom.

The goal of thinking critically is simple: to guarantee, as far as possible, that our beliefs and actions can be justified and can withstand rational analysis. Just what do we do when we’re thinking critically? In general terms, thinking critically is to think clearly, accurately, knowledgeably, while evaluating the reasons for a belief you hold, an assumption you have, or an action you take.

We often believe things not because we have good evidence for them but because we want to believe them. We tend to construe things in our own favour, to look for evidence that fits with what we already believe or want to believe. Too often, we can deceive ourselves. We allow habit to control how we think about the issues and actions in our life. Often, we see only what we want to see and believe only what we want to believe. When we engage in critical thinking things change, and the two main benefits will be increased self-confidence and a heightened sense of control over our life.

Once we commit ourselves to critical thinking we will generate continual learning and improvement in life as we search for the beliefs and actions that best serve us. We need to learn how to conduct that search properly, so that our self-confidence and self-respect flourish and grow. Also, the better we become at evaluating our thinking, the more likely it is that we will be in control of situations where decisions need to be made or problems solved. Continual learning is essential to lifetime growth. It’s possible to have a great deal of experience in life and yet be no smarter for all the things you’ve done, seen, and heard. Experience alone is no guarantee of lifetime growth. But if you regularly examine and transform your experience into new learning, you will make each day of your life one of growth.

The smartest people are not those with a high IQ, but those who can transform even the smallest events or situations into breakthroughs in thinking and action. We should look at all of life as a school and every experience as a lesson, and then our learning will always be greater than our experience. You are the thinker of your thoughts, you are not just your thoughts, and when you react to some action or incident and find yourself responding… take a ‘mental’ step back and ask yourself

Why did I think that thought?

Was it an automatic response triggered by a program running in my mind?

Did it serve me?

What else could I have chosen to think?

When you apply critical thinking instead of simply accepting your thoughts and letting them run across the screen of your mind, you access deep learning and powerful change. This has the potential to impact and improve your life. So what are you thinking right now as a result of reading this? And why are you thinking that thought?

How to rapidly develop deep rapport with people

2009-04-23T15:16:00.000+10:00
The great therapist Milton Ericson once stated: In the presence of rapport, anything is possible. Rapport is generally defined as the establishment of trust, harmony and cooperation in a relationship. So learning how to create rapport; and develop a deep connection with others will certainly help us to communicate much more effectively. It’s said that when people are like each other, they will more readily like each other. When people are not like each other, they will not so readily like each other. When you like someone, you are more willing to assist them, and help them get whatever they want.

Seven percent of our communication effectiveness is about the words we use; thirty eight percent is due to our tone of voice, and fifty five percent is due to our physiology. And most of our communication is outside our conscious awareness. An opportunity therefore exists for us to create more effective nonverbal communication, and that's what establishing rapport is all about.

So what’s it take to develop rapport? For people to like and open up to you, you’ll need to demonstrate genuine interest in them first. Be interested rather than interesting. Whenever someone feels that you are interested in knowing and understanding them at a deep level, they will open up and share their true feelings more readily. Therefore we should fully focus with a sincere sense of curiosity about; how they feel, how they think, how they see the world. Their hopes, dreams, and fears, their aspirations and the obstacles they face.

Creating rapport is easy to learn. Influence works at a nonconscious level, so we must first get the other persons nonconscious mind to pay attention. So you should first develop deep rapport prior to putting your point of view. This means you mirror their posture, and match the pitch, pace, and tonality of their voice, and any other behaviour you observe. Cultivate a slow head nod. When you’re in rapport with someone and you nod your head, the other person is likely to do the same thing. Every time that person nods their head, it sends an unconscious ‘yes’ signal to their nervous system.

And we are more likely to follow a suggestion from someone we trust. So when you connect the other person is much more likely to respond to your suggestions. Be sure you match the other person exactly. Yes exactly. Initially start with a slight delay in matching or mirroring; then within a minute or two begin to match the person almost simultaneously. Avoid subtly mirroring; as this won’t create a match. Mirror exactly what they do, and do it at the same time as they do.

Anything is possible when you’re in deep rapport; so simply pre-suppose you’re in rapport and act as if you are. To create rapport, sit upright and relaxed with your legs and feet pointed towards the other person, don’t cross your legs, your hands can be flat on your thighs, or loosely held with your fingertips together if you aren’t using them to gesture, you should also maintain strong but not intense eye contact. You can; slightly lower your voice tone, touch their arm, raise your eyebrows, move your head to one side, slow down your speaking. With practice, you will be amazed at how quickly and easily you are able to do this.

“Rapport has been described as what happens when we get the attention of someone’s nonconscious mind, and meet them at their ‘map of the world’ its more commonly understood as the sense of ease and connection that develops when you are interacting with someone you trust and feel comfortable with. Being able to get into rapport with other people isn't just a key for successful influence; it's also one of the most enjoyable and relaxing skills you can learn because people like to be around people who are in rapport with them.” - Jamie Smart